New Gay Shits!

I know I haven't posted in a long time, and I apologize to both of the people who read this.
But I promise I will be back with a vengeance (and I will ACTUALLY include Fun Quotes at the end of each post from now on - a second promise!)
Today I leave for an NYC trip. I will post about that when I get back with many pictures.
For now, I leave you with this:
My buddy Brad posted on his blog, and I had to disagree and defend him. Sound confusing? It's not.
It led to me explaining my opinions on the word "gay", which I think is an interesting thing to discuss. So here is Brad's blog (re-printed without permission! Fuck you Brad!) and my response:

ON FIRST IMPRESSIONS
Yesterday's post about how I'm not a good secret keeper inspired today's - how I am not a good first-impression maker. And I'm not talking about high school, before I had developed a real personality. It was actually at college orientation.
A young man named Joe was in my orientation. Nice guy. Apparently, I made some stupid joke about something being "gay." You know, the kind of stupid joke an almost-18 year-old would make. And, as you may have guessed, Joe was gay. (I suppose he still is, but we haven't really spoken in a while.) We eventually became frien-quaintances and he told me how much he hated me that first time we met.
Same orientation, different situation. At the closing dance, I was sitting by myself, as I do at dances, when a very attractive girl came to dance with me. Unbeknownst to me, she had finished dancing with a young man named AJ. Come move-in day, who is my next-door neighbor but AJ? He later told me how much he hated me for dancing with the girl.
So what, you say. It was pre-college. I had employees that I supervised at Walgreens that told me how much they were scared of me when I started at their store (that may have been a supervisory thing, I'm not going to take all the blame). And when conducting the job search that ended up with me in my current position, I interviewed with 45 different schools, and made good first impressions at maybe ten of them. Since I've been here, I've interviewed with another twelve or thirteen schools with no results.
Strategy for making more positive first impressions: Fake it.
posted by Brad at 10:53 AM on Jan 13, 2009

Here is my response:

What the hell man (that originally said the F-word instead of hell, but I know the Christian Children's Organization reads your blog).
I think neither of those qualify as poor first impressions. Dancing with a hot girl you don't know, at a place you don't know, around people you an unfamiliar with - this is NEVER a bad decision.
That guy hated you for reasons you could not control, so let's take that right out as a good example. You made a GOOD choice there.
Secondly, your first example (...) - okay - I call things "gay" all the time. I'll say, that dildo is "gay", or that guy Tom Wells is "gay", or that gay porn is "gay".
But seriously - I definitely think it's okay to take words and mean something else. It's part of our vernacular.
I often say things are "cool" (if I like them) or that things are "weak" (if I don't).
Neither of the things I'm speaking of were either slightly cold, or "the opposite of strong".
No one challenges those words, which were changed to mean something different than they intended. But people always challenge "gay". I think this is wrong. Here's my justification:
Okay, using the word that means "gay person" and rhymes with "maggot" is a strong and very negative gesture. The origins of that word are hateful, and I do not use it. Eminem uses it, and he argues that because he attaches no homosexual (or sexual at all) attributes to its meaning when he uses it, it's okay.
I don't agree with that*. That word is too harsh, and like I said, comes from a place of discrimination and hatred. It's SUPPOSED to be mean, and it's SUPPOSED to hurt people's feelings.
I think using the word "gay" in the non-homosexual way, is not the same thing at all. Here are my three reasons it's okay.
1. You are using it to describe something without any sexual intentions - you have no real connection to the actual meaning ("That new lamp we have is so gay")
You might say "Well how come you attach that reason to this and use it for justification, but Eminem can't use it for the 'maggot' word?"
Here's why:
2. "Gay" means "homosexual". In the gay community, I'm pretty sure it's OK to say a gay person is gay. If a girl says "Hey I think your friend Tom is hitting on me," I might say "Well, I don't think so. He's gay," - and that is in no way a negative or judgmental use of the word in conjunction with its meaning. Gay people will (I believe) say "I'm gay" and the organization whose mission statement is "Ensuring fair, accurate and inclusive representation of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people" has the word GAY in the title (GLAAD)!
So the word "gay" is entirely different from the "maggot" word to me, and I think that that is agreed upon in the gay community. One of them is insulting and mean, and one is just the word to explain their sexual preference
3. "Gay" originally meant "happy", right? I think this is common knowledge. So if it's a word created with one meaning, then it turns into the common non-judgmental word to explain a sexual preference, and now that means no-one else can use it for anything completely unrelated?
Of course I understand that "gay" is often used to explain you don't like something - again "The movie 'The Unborn' was so gay!", but because it had no connection (in meaning) to homosexuality, can't you take the homosexuality terms out of the equation?
Let's be honest here, do I say "gay" because I think "Gay means homosexual, and I want to use that to explain when I feel negatively about something," or has it become part of my speech pattern because it's something that (very simply) just 'caught on'?
Would anyone use the word 'cool' if they didn't hear it somewhere else in the first place? Does it have any connection whatsoever to chilliness? The answer is a very obvious "No".
Like I said, the word "gay" in the homosexual world is extremely neutral, and on top of that, it doesn't only mean "homosexual" - it had other origins - and ON TOP OF THAT - there is NO homosexual connotation in its use**!
So that's my feeling on that. To be honest, "retarded" seems like a meaner (or at least more offensive) word than "gay" is, just because "retarded" really only means one thing, and because it is often used to mean "stupid". That's a whole different ballpark.
On the other hand, I can definitely see that a gay person meeting a "straighty" (as they say - or so I'm told), and having one of the FIRST things that cames out of their mouth be "Hey, that's gay," definitely could be a turn-off.
I think that while I stand behind these opinions, a discussion about them with anyone you might feel might be offended is in order, and I do think you also have to respect how they feel regardless of what your personal opinions are.
Also - keep in mind that not every aspect of your personality should be on the frontline when you meet someone anyway ("Hello young lady, my name is Chuck Staton, and I'm told that I exceed in the field of cunnilingus"). Just because something is true (extremely true) about you or about how you act, doesn't mean that it's the first thing (or within the first few things) a new person has to know about you or deal with.
So, I understand that example of a bad first impression. I don't think I use "gay" that openly in front of people I don't know. I've spoken to Tom Wells (a throbbing member of the gay community, and one of my best friends) and he doesn't attach me saying "gay" to any negative-homosexual meaning whatsoever. Brian Lau (another pal of mine) has told me that one member of a minority cannot speak for them all. This is true - but for me, I think that listening to the feelings of one member of a minority is probably better than listening to myself, when I'm not a member of that minority.
So, if I was around someone that was gay, and I said "That's gay," and they had a problem with it. I'd explain my reasoning, but I wouldn't use it around them if they felt uncomfortable.
I suppose this response makes me seem ignorant? That's fine.
Anyway - Brad, your first impression on me was great. That very first night I told Sousa we had to work you into our videos. But then again, you were demonstrating a particular talent of yours (comedy), and that conflicts greatly with "serious Brad" who is a different, beady-eyed beast altogether.
I think making bad first impressions means that you're an interesting and layered person. Aquired tastes are always pegged as being more sophisticated. Everyone thinks I'm an egotistical dick when they first meet me - but after a while they find out I'm a FUNNY egotistical dick. Who's good at cunnlingus.
*I don't agree with Eminem's stance, but I have to uphold his right to say what he wants. I feel the exact same way about ANYONE (including black people) using the N-word. I don't think it's cool to use either word, but I'm not going to speak out against Ice Cube (or Eminem) for saying what he wants.
**I'm speaking for myself here. I know some people say "Ugh! That's so gay!" in response to like two guys dancing, and that's a completely different thing

So yeah. Tell me what you guys think about that.
Here is the first (of many)....
!!FUN QUOTES!!

Click here if you don't know what Fun Quotes are

Fun Quotes are small snippets of conversations (mostly online-based, as those are the ones that are recorded) I've had with my (oftentimes funny, oftentimes clever, oftentimes stupid) friends, that I find to be amusing.

Chuck Staton and Aaron Arcello on the weather....
Arce11o: there's not much snow on the ground here in NY and it's supposed to taper off soon
DiscountChuck: yeah there's no snow here
Arce11o: it's really cold though
DiscountChuck: it's not very cold here
Arce11o: it's NOT cold there?
DiscountChuck: yeah I just went outside and moved my car and it wasn't very cold at all
Arce11o: it's 16 degrees here. wind chill is 3
DiscountChuck: maybe you're just a pussy?
DiscountChuck: Hey I just checked weather.com
DiscountChuck: "NOTE: Aaron Arcello should not be used as a thermometer, as he is a pussy."
DiscountChuck: ahhh there's the problem
Arce11o: i'm not purporting to be a thermometer
Arce11o: i'm just reading the forecast
Arce11o: and letting you know that it's cold
DiscountChuck: "PS. Neither should he be allowed to read the forecast, and/or let anyone know whether or not it is cold."
DiscountChuck: this is really weird. how do they even know you?
Arce11o: i interned there for a summer