Okay so throughout the year a few things came out that I'd like to get (mostly DVDs, blu-rays, and books). Every year at Christmas, people tell me I'm a horrible person to shop for, and no one ever knows what to get me. So I thought I'd post some items here to let people know some things I'm interested in getting.
Books:
Wolverine: Old Man Logan - graphic novel
My Booky Wook - Russel Brand
I Am The New Black - Tracy Morgan
I Drink For A Reason - David Cross
Tell-All - Chuck Palahniuk
DVDs/Blu Rays:
Pixar Short Film Collection on blu-ray (This movie is $14.99 at Target when using the "$5.00 off blu-ray coupon found here" http://slickdeals.net/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=291043&d=1259404212 - I'm posting this specifically because this title is always very expensive)
Chasing Amy blu-ray
Bruno blu-ray
Funny People special edition DVD
Perfect Strangers Season 1 and 2
Random:
a tripod for my video camera (weight limit 15 lb.s)
I don't usually collect any type of "toy" or "collectible" but there are two things I came across in the past year that I've really liked:
Back To The Future Series II Minimates Set - http://www.amazon.com/Back-Future-Minimates-Box-Set/dp/B000VXD8P0
Original Ninja Turtle comics black and white figure - http://media.photobucket.com/image/ninja%20turtle%20black%20and%20white%20figure/chloe1312/TMNT-Neca-02-black-n-white.jpg - I just want one (they come in a set of four), and the only place I've seen one by itself is at Newbury Comics.
I really thought there were more books and DVDs but I can't think of them. I will add to the list as I remember.
Also - yes, there are video games I'd like to get, but at some point I got a surplus and I'm still playing through a bunch. I'd hate for someone to buy me a game for $39.99 and have it end up sitting on my shelf for a while, and when I go to play it the price has dropped to $17.99. I'd feel like a dick.
-chuckstaton
Monday, November 30, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Eroticism.
This is from an email I just sent:
From: Chuck Staton
To: Abe, Arcello, B Lau, Brad Roar!, Jordan, Lou E, Patrick, Sousa, Teej, Bagley, Jenn Watts, Nic, Sierra
I don't remember if I sent this out when we did it, but I re-read it tonight and laughed out loud a few times at the wordplay, so I thought I'd send it again:
Me, B Lau, Alyssa and Teej often frequent Ruby Tuesday's where Tom's ex-girlfriend Katie works as a waitress. She's very sweet but she's twice as gullible. B Lau and I mentioned to her that B Lau was writing erotic fiction (which was obviously not true), including a story about her - and she believed it. So the next time we came in, we of course came with this little tale we put together about Tom and her trying to have sex (which really happened) and Tom proving that he sometimes lacked the ability to become aroused even as a teenager (which also really happened) - imagine what he's like in bed now!
Anyway, we put this together and I think that it's so odd and funny. I probably sent it to you back when we did it, but who cares, give it a second read. I love it. This is true B Lau/Staton humor.
Chapter 6
After Hours/A Midnight Snack
Katie was a hard-worker - not too slow, and not too fast for the customers to feel like they were being ignored. Waitressing was a way to make ends meet but, coupled with her biology class, was beginning to become overwhelming. However, Katie was quite capable of handling large loads.
At seventeen, Katie had a figure that all her friends envied, and the boys certainly noticed. But she turned her nose up at them all - besides one boy in particular, whom she had met while volunteering at the soup kitchen.
Tom Wells - the first string quarterback, and the pride and joy of Mt. Hope High School. "This guy's going places - and fast!" thought Katie, as he whizzed by her in his conversion van on the first day of school.
Now - seven months later - as the chill of winter gave way to an unexpectedly warm March, Katie knew firsthand how fast Tom liked to go, and their newfound love was blooming like so many daffy-dills (as Katie called them).
But as love blooms, so do men push. Push for the physical act of love - as Katie knew all too well. Tom was already an extremely aggressive individual, asserting his presence to every man, woman, and crippled invalid who looked at Katie's developing breasts and infectious hindquarters. But when it came to Katie's undergarments, Tom was like a magician. He was always trying to make them disappear.
Katie wasn't sure if Tom was the right guy for her - sure, he had rippling biceps and washboard abs, he had dollar bills coming out of every pocket, and his golden hair glimmered luminously in the moonlight - so much so that she often wondered if it would all disappear one day.
Nevertheless, she was living in the here and now, and had to make an important choice. As she re-filled the sugars, and moved each table out to sweep, she couldn't stop her mind from spelunking in the caves of sexual exploration. And this was one girl who wouldn't forger her flashlight.
"Will things change? Will he prove himself to have love-making skills on par with his debating prowess, as all the girls in school had rumored?" she quickly shook these thoughts away, ignoring her primal impulses and her tingly nether-regions, as the man himself walked through the vestibule, and entered the often-sexualized Swansea Mall.
Through Ruby Tuesday's archways he did enter, and what a man he was. His face smiled with the warmth of a thousand suns, despite his blackened and gap-toothed grin. His cross-eyed stare shone two beady lasers on her hot skin. His hulking, masculine frame heaved with anticipation, as he lumbered towards her, not unlike an injured moose.
"Hello Katie, I've been expecting you," he sighed
"What do you mean? I've been at work and you came here to see me?" Katie replied.
Tom was clearly shaken, but otherwise remained confident.
"Tonight is the night. I want what you got!" Tom clamored sheepishly.
Katie had never heard such beautiful poetry from her muscle-bound Romeo. Her manager's eyes filled with tears, as he understood what beauty was about to unfurl, and left the building, leaving rose petals in his wake.
"I've been thinking about you for my entire shift" Katie said, removing her apron, tentatively.
"Awww yeeea," Tom squeaked out, as he pumped his fist in the air, nearly demolishing section seven.
Katie shook her behind to and fro and she bent over to remove her shoes. She knew that Tom enjoyed the "show" she was putting on for him. She looked over her shoulder, and was about to ask him if he was ready to take the step that she was, but she noticed he was breathing heavy - either because he was aroused, or because of the short amount of steps from the parking lot into the restaurant - either way, she liked it.
Without any further prodding, Tom removed the burlap sack that served as his pants, revealing his throbbing member. At least two inches long, and nearly half as thick, Tom roared with approval at his own genitalia. Katie had never seen such an impressive display of manhood, as she had never even previously thought of taking part in any sort of sexual pleasure - but tonight was different. Tom Wells was ready for love.
Katie shed her entire outfit, as if she was a love-hungry serpent. She slithered her naked, and for some reason, glistening body over to Tom, hissing and generally disturbing him greatly. But Tom overlooked his discomfort, and they met in a warm embrace. Katie kissed passionately, Tom, reluctantly. He was uncomfortable about his first time - but he wondered if he felt too uncomfortable.
Katie threw her large breasts back over her shoulder, and Tom laid down a newspaper blanket on their favorite table. Katie laid back, completely comfortable knowing her future groom would soon enter her for the first time. She spread her creamy sun-deprived legs, expectantly.
Tom swallowed hard. For he, too, was but a simple virgin. Tales of his sexual prowess had been greatly exaggerated, and came about mostly from peer pressure, when he boasted to his football friends about which "women" he had "made whoopie " with (which would explain the mispronunciation of the words "labia" and "nipple" on Tom's part).
Tom whispered softly to her "My prick is ready for ya shit," and Katie nearly cried. She never could have imagined her first time would be so beautiful. Tom kissed and she could barely make out him saying, "Don't talk to me while I invade your Normandy," as she held him close.
Tom held his tiny warrior between his index finger and thumb (though it slipped away from his grip, repeatedly) and began his descent to enter the realms of manhood.
After brushing the brambles of her pubic hair to either side of her crotch (a laborious effort), Tom pushed his beautiful penis into her.
But alas - something stopped the entry.
Tom looked at Katie's vagina - slippery and gaping - no problem there.
When Tom's eyes reached his love-gun, he saw he had misfired - his penis was as firm as a melty ice cream cone.
The truth hung flaccidly in the air between them both - Katie was not what Tom was looking for.
Tom thought to himself, "I should have known," as he continually went over in his head the astoundingly high number of men he'd serviced orally in the past month - "I'm gay."
Katie sighed deeply, understanding the truth.
Tom withered away into the night, his hair falling out, his gut hanging out of his shirt, his pockets now devoid of dollars.
Katie waited there, wondering aloud, "If only there was someone who would deflower me in this public restaurant."
And in a vermillion flash - there stood B Lau. He moved only his lips, and looked into her eyes, as he silently screamed, "Skeet skeet skeet, muthafucka!"
....to be continued
From: Chuck Staton
To: Abe, Arcello, B Lau, Brad Roar!, Jordan, Lou E, Patrick, Sousa, Teej, Bagley, Jenn Watts, Nic, Sierra
I don't remember if I sent this out when we did it, but I re-read it tonight and laughed out loud a few times at the wordplay, so I thought I'd send it again:
Me, B Lau, Alyssa and Teej often frequent Ruby Tuesday's where Tom's ex-girlfriend Katie works as a waitress. She's very sweet but she's twice as gullible. B Lau and I mentioned to her that B Lau was writing erotic fiction (which was obviously not true), including a story about her - and she believed it. So the next time we came in, we of course came with this little tale we put together about Tom and her trying to have sex (which really happened) and Tom proving that he sometimes lacked the ability to become aroused even as a teenager (which also really happened) - imagine what he's like in bed now!
Anyway, we put this together and I think that it's so odd and funny. I probably sent it to you back when we did it, but who cares, give it a second read. I love it. This is true B Lau/Staton humor.
Chapter 6
After Hours/A Midnight Snack
Katie was a hard-worker - not too slow, and not too fast for the customers to feel like they were being ignored. Waitressing was a way to make ends meet but, coupled with her biology class, was beginning to become overwhelming. However, Katie was quite capable of handling large loads.
At seventeen, Katie had a figure that all her friends envied, and the boys certainly noticed. But she turned her nose up at them all - besides one boy in particular, whom she had met while volunteering at the soup kitchen.
Tom Wells - the first string quarterback, and the pride and joy of Mt. Hope High School. "This guy's going places - and fast!" thought Katie, as he whizzed by her in his conversion van on the first day of school.
Now - seven months later - as the chill of winter gave way to an unexpectedly warm March, Katie knew firsthand how fast Tom liked to go, and their newfound love was blooming like so many daffy-dills (as Katie called them).
But as love blooms, so do men push. Push for the physical act of love - as Katie knew all too well. Tom was already an extremely aggressive individual, asserting his presence to every man, woman, and crippled invalid who looked at Katie's developing breasts and infectious hindquarters. But when it came to Katie's undergarments, Tom was like a magician. He was always trying to make them disappear.
Katie wasn't sure if Tom was the right guy for her - sure, he had rippling biceps and washboard abs, he had dollar bills coming out of every pocket, and his golden hair glimmered luminously in the moonlight - so much so that she often wondered if it would all disappear one day.
Nevertheless, she was living in the here and now, and had to make an important choice. As she re-filled the sugars, and moved each table out to sweep, she couldn't stop her mind from spelunking in the caves of sexual exploration. And this was one girl who wouldn't forger her flashlight.
"Will things change? Will he prove himself to have love-making skills on par with his debating prowess, as all the girls in school had rumored?" she quickly shook these thoughts away, ignoring her primal impulses and her tingly nether-regions, as the man himself walked through the vestibule, and entered the often-sexualized Swansea Mall.
Through Ruby Tuesday's archways he did enter, and what a man he was. His face smiled with the warmth of a thousand suns, despite his blackened and gap-toothed grin. His cross-eyed stare shone two beady lasers on her hot skin. His hulking, masculine frame heaved with anticipation, as he lumbered towards her, not unlike an injured moose.
"Hello Katie, I've been expecting you," he sighed
"What do you mean? I've been at work and you came here to see me?" Katie replied.
Tom was clearly shaken, but otherwise remained confident.
"Tonight is the night. I want what you got!" Tom clamored sheepishly.
Katie had never heard such beautiful poetry from her muscle-bound Romeo. Her manager's eyes filled with tears, as he understood what beauty was about to unfurl, and left the building, leaving rose petals in his wake.
"I've been thinking about you for my entire shift" Katie said, removing her apron, tentatively.
"Awww yeeea," Tom squeaked out, as he pumped his fist in the air, nearly demolishing section seven.
Katie shook her behind to and fro and she bent over to remove her shoes. She knew that Tom enjoyed the "show" she was putting on for him. She looked over her shoulder, and was about to ask him if he was ready to take the step that she was, but she noticed he was breathing heavy - either because he was aroused, or because of the short amount of steps from the parking lot into the restaurant - either way, she liked it.
Without any further prodding, Tom removed the burlap sack that served as his pants, revealing his throbbing member. At least two inches long, and nearly half as thick, Tom roared with approval at his own genitalia. Katie had never seen such an impressive display of manhood, as she had never even previously thought of taking part in any sort of sexual pleasure - but tonight was different. Tom Wells was ready for love.
Katie shed her entire outfit, as if she was a love-hungry serpent. She slithered her naked, and for some reason, glistening body over to Tom, hissing and generally disturbing him greatly. But Tom overlooked his discomfort, and they met in a warm embrace. Katie kissed passionately, Tom, reluctantly. He was uncomfortable about his first time - but he wondered if he felt too uncomfortable.
Katie threw her large breasts back over her shoulder, and Tom laid down a newspaper blanket on their favorite table. Katie laid back, completely comfortable knowing her future groom would soon enter her for the first time. She spread her creamy sun-deprived legs, expectantly.
Tom swallowed hard. For he, too, was but a simple virgin. Tales of his sexual prowess had been greatly exaggerated, and came about mostly from peer pressure, when he boasted to his football friends about which "women" he had "made whoopie " with (which would explain the mispronunciation of the words "labia" and "nipple" on Tom's part).
Tom whispered softly to her "My prick is ready for ya shit," and Katie nearly cried. She never could have imagined her first time would be so beautiful. Tom kissed and she could barely make out him saying, "Don't talk to me while I invade your Normandy," as she held him close.
Tom held his tiny warrior between his index finger and thumb (though it slipped away from his grip, repeatedly) and began his descent to enter the realms of manhood.
After brushing the brambles of her pubic hair to either side of her crotch (a laborious effort), Tom pushed his beautiful penis into her.
But alas - something stopped the entry.
Tom looked at Katie's vagina - slippery and gaping - no problem there.
When Tom's eyes reached his love-gun, he saw he had misfired - his penis was as firm as a melty ice cream cone.
The truth hung flaccidly in the air between them both - Katie was not what Tom was looking for.
Tom thought to himself, "I should have known," as he continually went over in his head the astoundingly high number of men he'd serviced orally in the past month - "I'm gay."
Katie sighed deeply, understanding the truth.
Tom withered away into the night, his hair falling out, his gut hanging out of his shirt, his pockets now devoid of dollars.
Katie waited there, wondering aloud, "If only there was someone who would deflower me in this public restaurant."
And in a vermillion flash - there stood B Lau. He moved only his lips, and looked into her eyes, as he silently screamed, "Skeet skeet skeet, muthafucka!"
....to be continued
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Another Villian Thwarted
Tonight, as I was driving back from Senior Discount practice in Fall River, I stopped at a Dunkin Donuts.
Having already been to a Dunkin Donuts (to visit my girlfriend at work), I noticed that they cleverly had renamed the "Boston Creme" donut to the seasonal "Boston Scream".
Tom Wells was in my car when I approached the drive-thru. I asked the woman for a "Boston Scream" donut. She had no clue what I was talking about, and I had to drive up to the window to explain it to her.
Afterwards, Tom Wells claimed I had asked for a "Boston Scream Bagel" - something I would never do. A mistake I'd never make. We had an argument about this that lasted a while. Since I was driving, and Tom urgently had to use the bathroom, I quickly threatened him by saying "Let's see what takes longer - you breaking down and admitting I did not say 'bagel', or you shitting your pants - because I am not taking you home until you say it."
Tom fought me for a minute, at first claiming he'd "shit all over" my car (juvenile). I then told him I'd sue him. He responded that I had no proof it was him. I immediately took out my digital camera to use the video-camera function to record the situation (for my future lawsuit).
The following is a video recording of Tom admitting I did not say "bagel" at the end of my request for a "Boston Scream".
Note: This video is not great, but the audio clearly shows you that this monster knows who is in the right.
Having already been to a Dunkin Donuts (to visit my girlfriend at work), I noticed that they cleverly had renamed the "Boston Creme" donut to the seasonal "Boston Scream".
Tom Wells was in my car when I approached the drive-thru. I asked the woman for a "Boston Scream" donut. She had no clue what I was talking about, and I had to drive up to the window to explain it to her.
Afterwards, Tom Wells claimed I had asked for a "Boston Scream Bagel" - something I would never do. A mistake I'd never make. We had an argument about this that lasted a while. Since I was driving, and Tom urgently had to use the bathroom, I quickly threatened him by saying "Let's see what takes longer - you breaking down and admitting I did not say 'bagel', or you shitting your pants - because I am not taking you home until you say it."
Tom fought me for a minute, at first claiming he'd "shit all over" my car (juvenile). I then told him I'd sue him. He responded that I had no proof it was him. I immediately took out my digital camera to use the video-camera function to record the situation (for my future lawsuit).
The following is a video recording of Tom admitting I did not say "bagel" at the end of my request for a "Boston Scream".
Note: This video is not great, but the audio clearly shows you that this monster knows who is in the right.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Will Ferrel in RI
Will Ferrel, Zach Galifiankakis, Nick Swardson and Demetri Martin came to URI a while back (possibly the best stand-up show I've ever seen) and this is a portion of the Q and A part of the night with Will Ferrel:
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Hilarious Awful Prank on Weather Girl
The only way this horrible prank could be funnier is if it were done to Tom Wells.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Terminator Time-Travel Explained
I have called myself "the smartest man alive" in the past - this was done in a very tongue-in-cheek-way (depending on whether or not you consider Stephen Hawking alive*).
Although I know this not to be true, I believe the study I have recently conducted is done from an educated standpoint, and was done with great attention to detail.
I have dissected the Terminator quadrilogy.
"What dissecting is there to be done?" one might ask.
There is a list of problems, concerning time travel and the "rules" of said time travel, with the film, and I'm going to attempt to solve them. I'll deal with the original three first, and the fourth afterwards.
The Terminator television show, "The Sarah Connor Chronicles" is part of an "alternate timeline" than the movies in the Terminator universe, so it will not be included here.
First - a very short plot rundown.
The Terminator
(known in Poland as "The Electronic Murderer")
James Cameron wrote and directed this movie in 1984. Sarah Connor is attacked by a machine (a terminator - Arnold Schwarzenegger) was who sent back in time from the year 2029, by Skynet. Skynet is a computer-based defense system, developed by humans to have incredible artificial intelligence - because of this intelligence, it eventually started eradicating the human race, and a huge "humans vs. robots" war broke out.
John Connor (the son of Sarah Connor) becomes the leader in the war against Skynet in the future, and Skynet is taking a precautionary measure by sending back a terminator to murder Sarah in 1984 before she can give birth to John. Fortunately (no offense to any terminators reading this), John Connor and the humans found this out in 2029, and John Connor sent back Kyle Reese (a soldier) to protect Sarah Connor.
The terminator kills many people (including an out-of-character and very punk rock Bill Paxton), but fails to kill Sarah. She crushes the terminator to death, and shortly after, Reese dies from a fatal wound - BUT before he dies, he bangs Sarah good and hard, and from this, she gets pregnant with John Connor.
Final grade for Terminator (it's an old movie, so I realize it's hard to grade it properly): B -
Questions I Will Adress:
- How was John Connor born, if he was the one to send back Reese, who only fathered him because he went back in time?
Terminator 2: Judgment Day
Easily the most popular movie of the series, winning four Oscars (yes, four Oscars), this film is where it all gets turned around.
In this movie, it's 1995 and John Connor is 10. His mother has been training him all his life for the robot war (which she now knows about thanks to Reese and the terminator in T1), and she has been put in a mental institution. He is with foster parents.
Again, in the future, the machines have sent back a terminator (the T-1000, a more advanced model than the original film), this time, to kill John Connor as a ten-year-old. Also, the humans have sent back another protector: except now they've also sent back a reprogrammed terminator (Arnold) who is programmed only to protect John Connor from the T-1000.
The T-1000 kills many in his attempt to kill John Connor, and Arnold, John and Sarah Connor are all trying to find the man - Miles Dyson - they believe is responsible for the Skynet uprising (which will happen in the future). Miles Dyson has found pieces of the terminator sent back in the first film, which has prompted his research towards terminators and a more advanced Skynet system.
Arnold and the Connors get to Tyson, they tell them about the whole deal with the future war, and he agrees to help them destroy his research at Skynet. They all go there and destroy the materials. The T-1000 gets killed, and Arnold lets the Connors kill him, so there will be no terminator evidence for future research to be based on.
Final grade for T2: B+
Questions I Will Adress:
- Does this mean that Skynet never figures out this technology? Does that make sense? How did they form/invent it in the first place
Terminator 3
Very similar to T2. In this movie, it's 2003 John Connor is 23 (age difference will be explained). His mother has died of leukemia and John is a piece of crap, working under the table and doing nothing, because he's scared of terminators being sent back to get him again.
Well guess what - the machines have sent back ANOTHER terminator (the Terminatrix, a an even more advanced model than in the second film) this time, to kill John Connor, as well as Kate Brewster - John's future wife - and other important officers on the future human army. Guess what again? The humans have sent back ANOTHER protector: another reprogrammed terminator (Arnold) who is programmed to protect John and Kate.
We find out that in the second film, blowing up Skynet's research (based on the terminator they found in the first film) only set them back to their original research, which eventually started a war with humans on its' own - this makes sense, as the original terminator existed in the first place.
The Terminatrix kills many in her attempt to kill John and Kate. Arnold, John and Kate are all trying to get to Kate's father - a military leader in charge of Skynet - that they believe is is at least partly responsible for the Skynet uprising (which will happen in the future).
They don't get to Kate's father in time, but he tells them to get to a military base where they believe they will be able to stop Skynet. They get there just as Skynet is taking over and kills Kate's father.
The Terminatrix reprograms Arnold, and he attempts to kill John Connor, but his conflicting objectives ("protect John Connor" - given to him by the humans, and "kill John Connor" - given to him by the Terminatrix) do not allow him to complete this task.
The Terminatrix and Arnold follow John and Kate to the military base. Both terminators get killed. John and Kate realize the base was just there for protection - there is no defense to take. The world is being taken over and they just have to watch it happen and wait.
Final grade for Terminator 3 (in terms of overall movie): B -
Final grade for Terminator 3 (in terms of action movie): B +
Some questions to answer:
"Terminator 3 sounds like a shitty rip-off of T2. Is it?"
People hated it and I totally did not hate it. It definitely was born from the T2 storyline, but 1991 and 2003 are very different in terms of what you can do with action movies, and T3 is an action movie.
It had a lot of awesome sequences, and some really cool ideas. I really thought the ending was very different than the previous "everything's wrapped up" endings and added a new, more unpredictable element to the series.
"In T3, the opening voice-over states that John Connor was 13 in T2, even though he was born in 1985, T2 takes place in 1995, and he is said to be 10 years old in T2. Why is this?"
The director of T3 (Johnathon Mostow) said the decision was made because Edward Furlong (John Connor in T2) was 13 during filming. This makes a little sense, considering that Edward Furlong was going through puberty during T2, and his voice changed very much throughout filming (which, in the end, caused him to re-record almost all of his lines). The problem was that his look also changed very much during it.
Although, in my eyes, if T2 (the movie in which he looked 13) stated he was 10, then he was 10. Don't fuck it up later by saying "No, he was 13".
"Skynet finds the Terminator arm/chip after T1 (which was left by the remains of the squashed/squished Terminator), and starts to delve into developing this machinery (as shown in T2), even though that arm/chip could have only existed there because the Terminator was sent back - how did Skynet originally send it back!?"
There is a fairly easy explanation for that problem; Truthfully, it's never stated that the Terminator arm/chip specifically led anywhere or created the Terminators (especially since this research was destroyed in T2). They never stated that this finding was an important step for them in the film, so I think it's okay that it was a small part. In fact, to be honest, it makes a lot of sense - SOMEONE had to find the dead Terminator remnants, and that someone would obviously have questions (and either give it to someone to look at professionally, or professionally look at it themselves).
"Why were Terminators continually sent back in time, if in the very first movie, the Terminator was explained to be a "last-ditch-effort" of the machines? They seemed to keep sending back Terminators pretty easily."
A. Reese said this line about the machines, so I believe it could have to do with an opinion. Reese just BELIEVES it's a last-ditch effort (or was told by John Connor, where that info could have also been opinion, or simply to motivate Reese - John Connor WAS his leader). On top of this - niether Reese nor Connor necessarily know what's actually going on behind the scenes with the machines' plans, and they also doesn't know what happens after 2029 yet (example: I know in T3, the female Terminator is sent back from the year 2032, a year that they would obviously have no knowledge of in 2029) so maybe they actually believe that without knowing, or maybe that is the case in 2029 but then things change. So it could be opinion, or they could simply be wrong that it's a "last-ditch" effort, or they also don't know what happens later.
B. I also really think that all the time-traveling changed the story of what happenned. Yeah, BEFORE Reese and Terminator went back, that may have been war the where was at that time (machines almost being completely beaten), but who knows how the time-traveling affected it? Originally, Sarah Connor didn't know anything about this machine-war, and after Reese/the Terminator came back, she was completely informed and lived a very different life afterwards. And (proven by T2) Skynet may have also gotten a jump on the technology after finding the original Terminator's arm/chip in that factory (even though the data was supposedly destroyed in T2 - there was a still a whole company of inventors/scientists working with it and must have known some things about it, it easily could have changed the timeline in development, or changed the development in general) - we don't really know, but we do know that Reese and the Terminator didn't originally exist in 1984, and definitely changed things.
Okay - so my biggest problem with these movies is this:
How did John Connor send back Reese in the original film, if Reese had never originally been there to father him?
There are basically two "sides" to take here to justify the events.
1. The theory that time doesn't really happen chronologically. In other words, if John Connor sends back Reese from 2029 to 1984, Reese has ALWAYS existed (as a time traveler) in 1984. There was never a timeline without Reese time traveling back to 1984, and Reese was always there to father John Connor. I hate this theory. This will be reffered to as the "Reese Was Always There" theory.
2. This second theory, my theory, is loosely based on the Back To The Future time travel theory. My theory is that you can go back in time and change things. If today, Brad eats a hot dog, and then later I time travel back to yesterday and kill Brad, then when I come back to today, Brad is not there to eat the hot dog, and I can eat it myself. This will be reffered to as the "Things Can Be Changed" theory.
So how does that theory explain Reese coming back from the future and banging Sarah Connor?
Reese was, simply, not John Connor's original father.
Sarah Connor and (an un-named male) had John Connor in 1985 who grew up and led the resistance. That John Connor (JC1) sent back Reese, and Reese banged Sarah Connor. Reese immediately died, and when she got pregnant from this banging, she believed the son of the Reese to BE John Connor, so she named him "John". This new, alternate John Connor (JC2) was bore of Sarah Connor, and was always taught (by her) to grow up and lead the resistance, so he did!
The original father-of-John-Connor, and the original John Connor both never existed after Reese went back in time, because Reese came back and changed the timeline completely!
I also note favoring this method of time travel because the entire point of all the movies is that there is no fate, and John Connor (and pals) is (are) writing their own future. They say in each movie things like "The future is not set in stone", and James Cameron himself has said that the moral of the story is that the future can be changed (and even that Arnold started making his own decisions - to be killed, specifically - in T2). The entire tone of the movies is that things are not set in stone.
Honestly, I do not think that this was the plan when they wrote the original movie. I think James Cameron had an idea and wrote the movie without much time-travel-responsibility-thought. I know that the studio made him "heat up" the relationship between Reese and Sarah Connor. And where could that go? If Reese just dies at the end, Sarah would be bummed but so what? She'd known him for a couple days. The only way for a romantic storyline between those two characters to hold any weight, is for it to end up with John Connor - John is the only link between the two whatsoever. Reese doesn't even have any relatives/friends in 1984. So I can see how the script kind of crappily found its way to that point, but I wish they had remedied it somehow.
1984 was a different time period for film and I think the ideas and story were original in themselves enough to be popular (obviously), without them really delving into why it was possible for Reese to father John Connor. I really feel like movies back then often didn't explain themselves, and were more just for entertainment. I know this sounds like a generalization but I really feel that way.
I also feel that Terminator was definitely not written to have sequels, and that T2 was definitely DEFINITELY written to finish the movie (and honestly, I think the ending of T2, where they blew up the Skynet research, was meant to mean that the war was avoided - which would not have made ANY sense).
Anyway - my theory us that originally it was a different John Connor before Reese came back, and I think it completely makes sense - except for one, nagging, shitty, fact.
In the beginning of Terminator, Reese finds Sarah Connor with a picture that John had given to him in 2029. This picture is taken at the end of Terminator, where she's now driving to the dessert and has given her old, normal life up to raise John Connor and prepare him for the robot war.
This picture was obviously taken AFTER she was affected and informed by Reese, and was in his possession when he traveled through time, therefore creating a hole in my theory.
Terminator Salvation
(spoilers ahead)
There's no time traveling in the new one so it didn't alter anything there, but here's my opinion on the film:
It's been said that this is the beginning of new trilogy and that contracts are signed for a trilogy. If this is so, I'm really happy with it.
It's a new feel than the older films, but I feel like it keeps the tone of the machines and the menace very similar. That's what you need with good sequels - you have to brave new ground without abandoning the roots.
I thought the action was pretty good - lots of fast paced stuff (which is not always easy when you're surrounded by desset). The fact that it was PG-13 didn't bother me much, as the previous films are really only rated R because of the word "fuck" and that doesn't always make a movie better.
I thought the story was good. I liked the new character, and I hated the fact that they revealed him to be half-human/half-robot in the trailer, because I feel like the movie could have a new element of power if that was surprise to the audience.
I thought Reese was well-cast, I thought Christian Bale (who I used to dislike) was great. I liked how they dealt with the past (John Connor knowing Reese was his father, studying his mother's tapes, etc) and I liked that they really made it feel like the first in a trilogy. By the end, you had a new story, a new atmosphere for the terminator lore to exist in, and the war is going on even harder than when the movie began.
I liked the story in general and to me, it was not predictable. I thought the CGI Arnold looked amazingly good, and I the T-800s at the end were the most frightening of the series. The Terminators were very off-putting and scary, and I think that's a neccessary feeling to convey (and definitely how the first Terminator was meant to feel). They also introduced new awful robots that were great.
Overall, very happy with it. It didn't blow me away. I liked Wolverine more, but definitely good. I really am definitely looking at it as part of a new trilogy, and as a first, I think it's the smart way to do it - they introduced stuff that was extremely important but went nowhere so far - a very neccessary element to any trilogy. You HAVE to have things in some films that aren't explained/put to use until later films, that's what makes them feel rich and actually planned out.
I feel like McG is a good guy, a very mainstream director - which does not neccessarily mean bad. I like the Charlie's Angels movies (as boob/butt-based PG-rated action-comedy) and I think he knows what he's doing and he can tell what type of project something is supposed to be - not everything is The Godfather, which is how I think he went into Charlie's Angels. I think he knows the depth of what could be a new Terminator trilogy.
Final grade for Terminator Salvation (in terms of starting a trilogy): A
Final grade for Terminator Salvation (if it's a stand-alone film): B
Questions about T4:
- "Why did Skynet go after Reese and John Connor in this movie? It's only 2018, how do they know that they'll be a threat yet?"
A. Reese went to the police and told the entire Skynet story to them in T1, so it would be recorded by the police. Plus, Sarah Connor also told the entire story of T1 and T2 in mental institutions, repeatedly, for years, while death, destruction, explosions and robots followed her and her son everywhere. There have to be tons of documents on this, and I'm sure the FBI (and whoever else) had crazy tabs on the Connors for all the murders/insane accidents that have happenned around them. Skynet would easily have access to this stuff, as eventually - "Skynet didn't take over the internet, they became the internet". They would have known simply from that.
B. If Skynet was sending back electronic murderers to 1984, I'm sure they sent back simple info to themselves earlier in time when they knew a single person would lead to their downfall.
- "Why was the inside of Skynet city developed for humans? Big glass TV screens, touchpads, etc?"
I don't know. I mean there were human-based machines (terminators, half-terminators, etc) policing the areas, so I guess that makes sense a little but it still a little bit odd.
- "If Reese dies, John Connor ceases to exist, right!!?"
I don't know - but the answer is not "definitely yes." The Terminator series has never dealt with this before so it's hard to tell - but, through everything that has happenned in the the Terminator films, nothing changed because of it. Even though Skynet and John Connor went through a lot of shit (all the time traveling murderers and different deaths and setbacks surrounding them), everything still ended up the same so far. The proof? The fact that the history remains the same - the original Terminator/Reese/the terminators in T2/etc, all still came back through time from way in the future, so everything is still leading there, despite the fact that things have happenned to alter the storyline. We don't know what happens if Reese dies, so I think this is a great thing to play off of in the upcoming two movies (although I think it will be incredibly hard to write this aspect and explain it well).
- "The movie bombed!!!! Good! I'm a gay fanboy who think they're murdering the series!"
The movie made $43 million the opening weekend. I hardly call this a bomb, but I understand it's low for a movie with a $200 million budget. I know that the PG-13 rating is an admitted mistake by Warner Bros (it drove away hardcore fans, yet only 14% of its audience were under the age of 18).
People are saying "This is surely the (deserved) death of the series" - hold your horses, Honcho. T3 made $44 million it's opening weekend ($1 million more) and that wasn't it's death so shut your mouth (T4 also grossed another $10 million on Monday). I think people are only calculating this as a failure because so many people went to Thursday midnight showings ($13 million from that one time) so it got a "projected $80 million". I think it was good, I hope it has a longer life than normal, and $43 is nothing to sneeze at (although I was a big shocked when I found that Indiana Jones and The Crystal Skull, opening last year during the exact same weekend, grossed THREE TIMES as much over the four-day weekend - $152 million). And that's that.
The questions about the series that I can't answer:
- If machines can time travel, why didn't they just send back another terminator to 1984 to kill Sarah when the first one failed? Why didn't they send one at the exact point where Reese (her only protector) dies? Why didn't they send one back every day until they knew she'd be dead?
The questions I want answered, but that no one else wants answered:
- What happens if the Terminator eats? Is it the same as when the creepy kid eats in A.I.?
- Why did they make a dick on the original Terminator? Was it to make him completely human? Why would someone see him naked? Even if it was for like, him to pass as a human in front of a doctor, wouldn't he just kill the doctor if the doctor gave him shit? The Terminator is super-tempermental. Can the dick get a boner?
My favorite fact about the Terminator:
"O.J. Simpson was considered for the role of the Terminator, but the producers feared he was 'too nice' to be taken seriously as a cold-blooded killer."
*I feel horribly about the Stephen Hawking joke. I think he has a great sense of humor, but this was too mean - yet too funny to remove. I'm so, so sorry.
Although I know this not to be true, I believe the study I have recently conducted is done from an educated standpoint, and was done with great attention to detail.
I have dissected the Terminator quadrilogy.
"What dissecting is there to be done?" one might ask.
There is a list of problems, concerning time travel and the "rules" of said time travel, with the film, and I'm going to attempt to solve them. I'll deal with the original three first, and the fourth afterwards.
The Terminator television show, "The Sarah Connor Chronicles" is part of an "alternate timeline" than the movies in the Terminator universe, so it will not be included here.
First - a very short plot rundown.
The Terminator
(known in Poland as "The Electronic Murderer")
James Cameron wrote and directed this movie in 1984. Sarah Connor is attacked by a machine (a terminator - Arnold Schwarzenegger) was who sent back in time from the year 2029, by Skynet. Skynet is a computer-based defense system, developed by humans to have incredible artificial intelligence - because of this intelligence, it eventually started eradicating the human race, and a huge "humans vs. robots" war broke out.
John Connor (the son of Sarah Connor) becomes the leader in the war against Skynet in the future, and Skynet is taking a precautionary measure by sending back a terminator to murder Sarah in 1984 before she can give birth to John. Fortunately (no offense to any terminators reading this), John Connor and the humans found this out in 2029, and John Connor sent back Kyle Reese (a soldier) to protect Sarah Connor.
The terminator kills many people (including an out-of-character and very punk rock Bill Paxton), but fails to kill Sarah. She crushes the terminator to death, and shortly after, Reese dies from a fatal wound - BUT before he dies, he bangs Sarah good and hard, and from this, she gets pregnant with John Connor.
Final grade for Terminator (it's an old movie, so I realize it's hard to grade it properly): B -
Questions I Will Adress:
- How was John Connor born, if he was the one to send back Reese, who only fathered him because he went back in time?
Terminator 2: Judgment Day
Easily the most popular movie of the series, winning four Oscars (yes, four Oscars), this film is where it all gets turned around.
In this movie, it's 1995 and John Connor is 10. His mother has been training him all his life for the robot war (which she now knows about thanks to Reese and the terminator in T1), and she has been put in a mental institution. He is with foster parents.
Again, in the future, the machines have sent back a terminator (the T-1000, a more advanced model than the original film), this time, to kill John Connor as a ten-year-old. Also, the humans have sent back another protector: except now they've also sent back a reprogrammed terminator (Arnold) who is programmed only to protect John Connor from the T-1000.
The T-1000 kills many in his attempt to kill John Connor, and Arnold, John and Sarah Connor are all trying to find the man - Miles Dyson - they believe is responsible for the Skynet uprising (which will happen in the future). Miles Dyson has found pieces of the terminator sent back in the first film, which has prompted his research towards terminators and a more advanced Skynet system.
Arnold and the Connors get to Tyson, they tell them about the whole deal with the future war, and he agrees to help them destroy his research at Skynet. They all go there and destroy the materials. The T-1000 gets killed, and Arnold lets the Connors kill him, so there will be no terminator evidence for future research to be based on.
Final grade for T2: B+
Questions I Will Adress:
- Does this mean that Skynet never figures out this technology? Does that make sense? How did they form/invent it in the first place
Terminator 3
Very similar to T2. In this movie, it's 2003 John Connor is 23 (age difference will be explained). His mother has died of leukemia and John is a piece of crap, working under the table and doing nothing, because he's scared of terminators being sent back to get him again.
Well guess what - the machines have sent back ANOTHER terminator (the Terminatrix, a an even more advanced model than in the second film) this time, to kill John Connor, as well as Kate Brewster - John's future wife - and other important officers on the future human army. Guess what again? The humans have sent back ANOTHER protector: another reprogrammed terminator (Arnold) who is programmed to protect John and Kate.
We find out that in the second film, blowing up Skynet's research (based on the terminator they found in the first film) only set them back to their original research, which eventually started a war with humans on its' own - this makes sense, as the original terminator existed in the first place.
The Terminatrix kills many in her attempt to kill John and Kate. Arnold, John and Kate are all trying to get to Kate's father - a military leader in charge of Skynet - that they believe is is at least partly responsible for the Skynet uprising (which will happen in the future).
They don't get to Kate's father in time, but he tells them to get to a military base where they believe they will be able to stop Skynet. They get there just as Skynet is taking over and kills Kate's father.
The Terminatrix reprograms Arnold, and he attempts to kill John Connor, but his conflicting objectives ("protect John Connor" - given to him by the humans, and "kill John Connor" - given to him by the Terminatrix) do not allow him to complete this task.
The Terminatrix and Arnold follow John and Kate to the military base. Both terminators get killed. John and Kate realize the base was just there for protection - there is no defense to take. The world is being taken over and they just have to watch it happen and wait.
Final grade for Terminator 3 (in terms of overall movie): B -
Final grade for Terminator 3 (in terms of action movie): B +
Some questions to answer:
"Terminator 3 sounds like a shitty rip-off of T2. Is it?"
People hated it and I totally did not hate it. It definitely was born from the T2 storyline, but 1991 and 2003 are very different in terms of what you can do with action movies, and T3 is an action movie.
It had a lot of awesome sequences, and some really cool ideas. I really thought the ending was very different than the previous "everything's wrapped up" endings and added a new, more unpredictable element to the series.
"In T3, the opening voice-over states that John Connor was 13 in T2, even though he was born in 1985, T2 takes place in 1995, and he is said to be 10 years old in T2. Why is this?"
The director of T3 (Johnathon Mostow) said the decision was made because Edward Furlong (John Connor in T2) was 13 during filming. This makes a little sense, considering that Edward Furlong was going through puberty during T2, and his voice changed very much throughout filming (which, in the end, caused him to re-record almost all of his lines). The problem was that his look also changed very much during it.
Although, in my eyes, if T2 (the movie in which he looked 13) stated he was 10, then he was 10. Don't fuck it up later by saying "No, he was 13".
"Skynet finds the Terminator arm/chip after T1 (which was left by the remains of the squashed/squished Terminator), and starts to delve into developing this machinery (as shown in T2), even though that arm/chip could have only existed there because the Terminator was sent back - how did Skynet originally send it back!?"
There is a fairly easy explanation for that problem; Truthfully, it's never stated that the Terminator arm/chip specifically led anywhere or created the Terminators (especially since this research was destroyed in T2). They never stated that this finding was an important step for them in the film, so I think it's okay that it was a small part. In fact, to be honest, it makes a lot of sense - SOMEONE had to find the dead Terminator remnants, and that someone would obviously have questions (and either give it to someone to look at professionally, or professionally look at it themselves).
"Why were Terminators continually sent back in time, if in the very first movie, the Terminator was explained to be a "last-ditch-effort" of the machines? They seemed to keep sending back Terminators pretty easily."
A. Reese said this line about the machines, so I believe it could have to do with an opinion. Reese just BELIEVES it's a last-ditch effort (or was told by John Connor, where that info could have also been opinion, or simply to motivate Reese - John Connor WAS his leader). On top of this - niether Reese nor Connor necessarily know what's actually going on behind the scenes with the machines' plans, and they also doesn't know what happens after 2029 yet (example: I know in T3, the female Terminator is sent back from the year 2032, a year that they would obviously have no knowledge of in 2029) so maybe they actually believe that without knowing, or maybe that is the case in 2029 but then things change. So it could be opinion, or they could simply be wrong that it's a "last-ditch" effort, or they also don't know what happens later.
B. I also really think that all the time-traveling changed the story of what happenned. Yeah, BEFORE Reese and Terminator went back, that may have been war the where was at that time (machines almost being completely beaten), but who knows how the time-traveling affected it? Originally, Sarah Connor didn't know anything about this machine-war, and after Reese/the Terminator came back, she was completely informed and lived a very different life afterwards. And (proven by T2) Skynet may have also gotten a jump on the technology after finding the original Terminator's arm/chip in that factory (even though the data was supposedly destroyed in T2 - there was a still a whole company of inventors/scientists working with it and must have known some things about it, it easily could have changed the timeline in development, or changed the development in general) - we don't really know, but we do know that Reese and the Terminator didn't originally exist in 1984, and definitely changed things.
Okay - so my biggest problem with these movies is this:
How did John Connor send back Reese in the original film, if Reese had never originally been there to father him?
There are basically two "sides" to take here to justify the events.
1. The theory that time doesn't really happen chronologically. In other words, if John Connor sends back Reese from 2029 to 1984, Reese has ALWAYS existed (as a time traveler) in 1984. There was never a timeline without Reese time traveling back to 1984, and Reese was always there to father John Connor. I hate this theory. This will be reffered to as the "Reese Was Always There" theory.
2. This second theory, my theory, is loosely based on the Back To The Future time travel theory. My theory is that you can go back in time and change things. If today, Brad eats a hot dog, and then later I time travel back to yesterday and kill Brad, then when I come back to today, Brad is not there to eat the hot dog, and I can eat it myself. This will be reffered to as the "Things Can Be Changed" theory.
So how does that theory explain Reese coming back from the future and banging Sarah Connor?
Reese was, simply, not John Connor's original father.
Sarah Connor and (an un-named male) had John Connor in 1985 who grew up and led the resistance. That John Connor (JC1) sent back Reese, and Reese banged Sarah Connor. Reese immediately died, and when she got pregnant from this banging, she believed the son of the Reese to BE John Connor, so she named him "John". This new, alternate John Connor (JC2) was bore of Sarah Connor, and was always taught (by her) to grow up and lead the resistance, so he did!
The original father-of-John-Connor, and the original John Connor both never existed after Reese went back in time, because Reese came back and changed the timeline completely!
I also note favoring this method of time travel because the entire point of all the movies is that there is no fate, and John Connor (and pals) is (are) writing their own future. They say in each movie things like "The future is not set in stone", and James Cameron himself has said that the moral of the story is that the future can be changed (and even that Arnold started making his own decisions - to be killed, specifically - in T2). The entire tone of the movies is that things are not set in stone.
Honestly, I do not think that this was the plan when they wrote the original movie. I think James Cameron had an idea and wrote the movie without much time-travel-responsibility-thought. I know that the studio made him "heat up" the relationship between Reese and Sarah Connor. And where could that go? If Reese just dies at the end, Sarah would be bummed but so what? She'd known him for a couple days. The only way for a romantic storyline between those two characters to hold any weight, is for it to end up with John Connor - John is the only link between the two whatsoever. Reese doesn't even have any relatives/friends in 1984. So I can see how the script kind of crappily found its way to that point, but I wish they had remedied it somehow.
1984 was a different time period for film and I think the ideas and story were original in themselves enough to be popular (obviously), without them really delving into why it was possible for Reese to father John Connor. I really feel like movies back then often didn't explain themselves, and were more just for entertainment. I know this sounds like a generalization but I really feel that way.
I also feel that Terminator was definitely not written to have sequels, and that T2 was definitely DEFINITELY written to finish the movie (and honestly, I think the ending of T2, where they blew up the Skynet research, was meant to mean that the war was avoided - which would not have made ANY sense).
Anyway - my theory us that originally it was a different John Connor before Reese came back, and I think it completely makes sense - except for one, nagging, shitty, fact.
In the beginning of Terminator, Reese finds Sarah Connor with a picture that John had given to him in 2029. This picture is taken at the end of Terminator, where she's now driving to the dessert and has given her old, normal life up to raise John Connor and prepare him for the robot war.
This picture was obviously taken AFTER she was affected and informed by Reese, and was in his possession when he traveled through time, therefore creating a hole in my theory.
Terminator Salvation
(spoilers ahead)
There's no time traveling in the new one so it didn't alter anything there, but here's my opinion on the film:
It's been said that this is the beginning of new trilogy and that contracts are signed for a trilogy. If this is so, I'm really happy with it.
It's a new feel than the older films, but I feel like it keeps the tone of the machines and the menace very similar. That's what you need with good sequels - you have to brave new ground without abandoning the roots.
I thought the action was pretty good - lots of fast paced stuff (which is not always easy when you're surrounded by desset). The fact that it was PG-13 didn't bother me much, as the previous films are really only rated R because of the word "fuck" and that doesn't always make a movie better.
I thought the story was good. I liked the new character, and I hated the fact that they revealed him to be half-human/half-robot in the trailer, because I feel like the movie could have a new element of power if that was surprise to the audience.
I thought Reese was well-cast, I thought Christian Bale (who I used to dislike) was great. I liked how they dealt with the past (John Connor knowing Reese was his father, studying his mother's tapes, etc) and I liked that they really made it feel like the first in a trilogy. By the end, you had a new story, a new atmosphere for the terminator lore to exist in, and the war is going on even harder than when the movie began.
I liked the story in general and to me, it was not predictable. I thought the CGI Arnold looked amazingly good, and I the T-800s at the end were the most frightening of the series. The Terminators were very off-putting and scary, and I think that's a neccessary feeling to convey (and definitely how the first Terminator was meant to feel). They also introduced new awful robots that were great.
Overall, very happy with it. It didn't blow me away. I liked Wolverine more, but definitely good. I really am definitely looking at it as part of a new trilogy, and as a first, I think it's the smart way to do it - they introduced stuff that was extremely important but went nowhere so far - a very neccessary element to any trilogy. You HAVE to have things in some films that aren't explained/put to use until later films, that's what makes them feel rich and actually planned out.
I feel like McG is a good guy, a very mainstream director - which does not neccessarily mean bad. I like the Charlie's Angels movies (as boob/butt-based PG-rated action-comedy) and I think he knows what he's doing and he can tell what type of project something is supposed to be - not everything is The Godfather, which is how I think he went into Charlie's Angels. I think he knows the depth of what could be a new Terminator trilogy.
Final grade for Terminator Salvation (in terms of starting a trilogy): A
Final grade for Terminator Salvation (if it's a stand-alone film): B
Questions about T4:
- "Why did Skynet go after Reese and John Connor in this movie? It's only 2018, how do they know that they'll be a threat yet?"
A. Reese went to the police and told the entire Skynet story to them in T1, so it would be recorded by the police. Plus, Sarah Connor also told the entire story of T1 and T2 in mental institutions, repeatedly, for years, while death, destruction, explosions and robots followed her and her son everywhere. There have to be tons of documents on this, and I'm sure the FBI (and whoever else) had crazy tabs on the Connors for all the murders/insane accidents that have happenned around them. Skynet would easily have access to this stuff, as eventually - "Skynet didn't take over the internet, they became the internet". They would have known simply from that.
B. If Skynet was sending back electronic murderers to 1984, I'm sure they sent back simple info to themselves earlier in time when they knew a single person would lead to their downfall.
- "Why was the inside of Skynet city developed for humans? Big glass TV screens, touchpads, etc?"
I don't know. I mean there were human-based machines (terminators, half-terminators, etc) policing the areas, so I guess that makes sense a little but it still a little bit odd.
- "If Reese dies, John Connor ceases to exist, right!!?"
I don't know - but the answer is not "definitely yes." The Terminator series has never dealt with this before so it's hard to tell - but, through everything that has happenned in the the Terminator films, nothing changed because of it. Even though Skynet and John Connor went through a lot of shit (all the time traveling murderers and different deaths and setbacks surrounding them), everything still ended up the same so far. The proof? The fact that the history remains the same - the original Terminator/Reese/the terminators in T2/etc, all still came back through time from way in the future, so everything is still leading there, despite the fact that things have happenned to alter the storyline. We don't know what happens if Reese dies, so I think this is a great thing to play off of in the upcoming two movies (although I think it will be incredibly hard to write this aspect and explain it well).
- "The movie bombed!!!! Good! I'm a gay fanboy who think they're murdering the series!"
The movie made $43 million the opening weekend. I hardly call this a bomb, but I understand it's low for a movie with a $200 million budget. I know that the PG-13 rating is an admitted mistake by Warner Bros (it drove away hardcore fans, yet only 14% of its audience were under the age of 18).
People are saying "This is surely the (deserved) death of the series" - hold your horses, Honcho. T3 made $44 million it's opening weekend ($1 million more) and that wasn't it's death so shut your mouth (T4 also grossed another $10 million on Monday). I think people are only calculating this as a failure because so many people went to Thursday midnight showings ($13 million from that one time) so it got a "projected $80 million". I think it was good, I hope it has a longer life than normal, and $43 is nothing to sneeze at (although I was a big shocked when I found that Indiana Jones and The Crystal Skull, opening last year during the exact same weekend, grossed THREE TIMES as much over the four-day weekend - $152 million). And that's that.
The questions about the series that I can't answer:
- If machines can time travel, why didn't they just send back another terminator to 1984 to kill Sarah when the first one failed? Why didn't they send one at the exact point where Reese (her only protector) dies? Why didn't they send one back every day until they knew she'd be dead?
The questions I want answered, but that no one else wants answered:
- What happens if the Terminator eats? Is it the same as when the creepy kid eats in A.I.?
- Why did they make a dick on the original Terminator? Was it to make him completely human? Why would someone see him naked? Even if it was for like, him to pass as a human in front of a doctor, wouldn't he just kill the doctor if the doctor gave him shit? The Terminator is super-tempermental. Can the dick get a boner?
My favorite fact about the Terminator:
"O.J. Simpson was considered for the role of the Terminator, but the producers feared he was 'too nice' to be taken seriously as a cold-blooded killer."
*I feel horribly about the Stephen Hawking joke. I think he has a great sense of humor, but this was too mean - yet too funny to remove. I'm so, so sorry.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Punch Out
Another amazing accomplishment in the history books:
My girlfriend Alyssa, my confidant B Lau, and myself, have beaten the Punch Out series.
That's right - the entire series.
Punch Out Wii came out recently. It's a redux of the 1997 NES game "Mike Tyson's Punch Out!!".
Punch-Out (1987)
In the series, you are Little Mac, an (apparently) 17 year old tiny boxer who takes on many colorful characters in the ring. Very simple gameplay - you have two buttons for punching (right and left fists), a directional pad (for dodging and aiming punches high or low) and a third button for a "Star Punch" (special attack that does more damage) - these controls apply to the original NES version, the SNES version, and the new Wii version.
Although a very very very simple set of controls, it based itself around your opponents and their different styles and attacks. Punch Out was one of the most popular Nintendo titles of all time. Super Punch Out was also very similar to the original game, with updated graphics and characters
Super Punch-Out (1994)
When Punch Out Wii was released last week, I played it, really enjoyed it, bought it (yes, bought it after) and got to the final opponent in the game. I then decided to beat Punch Out (NES) and Super Punch Out (SNES) with Alyssa and B Lau, and only THEN finally beat Punch Out Wii (Wii) and that we did.
Punch-Out Wii (2009)
All three games are amazingly tough. Like, surprisingly (and frustratingly) difficult, but one of my favorite series ever.
I will also point out that (besides the $2.99 copy of mini-game Link's Crossbow Training) this is the first game for Wii that I felt I should buy and own because of how much I enjoyed it.
New challenges in Punch Out? If I go back and beat Punch Out Wii all the way through AGAIN, I unlock Donkey Kong (who I'm sure will be near-impossible to beat).
Also - check out this weirdness: After the success of the original Mike Tyson's Punch-Out (1987)!!, another company intended to release an NES 'spiritual' sequel, calling it "Mike Tyson's Intergalactic Power Punch".
This follow-up was slated to star Mike Tyson, and not Little Mac as the protagonist.
The former heavyweight champion started to have public marital and personal problems, and was eventually arrested and brought to court for rape charges in 1991.
Mike Tyson’s Intergalactic Power Punch never got released, apparently due to both licensing and quality issues.
Now, years and years later, a playable version of Mike Tyson’s Intergalactic Power Punch has been made available for anyone to download and play, presumably with an NES emulator.
The story behind the rom's release began three weeks ago when Jason "DreamTR" Wilson -- known by many in video game collecting circles for his stockpile of rarities and prototypes -- notified the NintendoAge community that he would be willing to dump the data from his prototype cart of Mike Tyson’s Intergalactic Power Punch for $2000.
Over 50 of NintendoAge.com's forum members raised that $1500, with a couple donating $100 or more, and others even selling games from their own collections to scrounge up contribution money.
The rom is now available for anyone to download - unfortunately, Mike Tyson's Intergalactic Power Punch is terrible. You can see footage of it here, recorded by NESguide:
- taken (in paraphrased form) from gamesetwatch.com
So I could do that too. Yeah. No.
My girlfriend Alyssa, my confidant B Lau, and myself, have beaten the Punch Out series.
That's right - the entire series.
Punch Out Wii came out recently. It's a redux of the 1997 NES game "Mike Tyson's Punch Out!!".
Punch-Out (1987)
In the series, you are Little Mac, an (apparently) 17 year old tiny boxer who takes on many colorful characters in the ring. Very simple gameplay - you have two buttons for punching (right and left fists), a directional pad (for dodging and aiming punches high or low) and a third button for a "Star Punch" (special attack that does more damage) - these controls apply to the original NES version, the SNES version, and the new Wii version.
Although a very very very simple set of controls, it based itself around your opponents and their different styles and attacks. Punch Out was one of the most popular Nintendo titles of all time. Super Punch Out was also very similar to the original game, with updated graphics and characters
Super Punch-Out (1994)
When Punch Out Wii was released last week, I played it, really enjoyed it, bought it (yes, bought it after) and got to the final opponent in the game. I then decided to beat Punch Out (NES) and Super Punch Out (SNES) with Alyssa and B Lau, and only THEN finally beat Punch Out Wii (Wii) and that we did.
Punch-Out Wii (2009)
All three games are amazingly tough. Like, surprisingly (and frustratingly) difficult, but one of my favorite series ever.
I will also point out that (besides the $2.99 copy of mini-game Link's Crossbow Training) this is the first game for Wii that I felt I should buy and own because of how much I enjoyed it.
New challenges in Punch Out? If I go back and beat Punch Out Wii all the way through AGAIN, I unlock Donkey Kong (who I'm sure will be near-impossible to beat).
Also - check out this weirdness: After the success of the original Mike Tyson's Punch-Out (1987)!!, another company intended to release an NES 'spiritual' sequel, calling it "Mike Tyson's Intergalactic Power Punch".
This follow-up was slated to star Mike Tyson, and not Little Mac as the protagonist.
The former heavyweight champion started to have public marital and personal problems, and was eventually arrested and brought to court for rape charges in 1991.
Mike Tyson’s Intergalactic Power Punch never got released, apparently due to both licensing and quality issues.
Now, years and years later, a playable version of Mike Tyson’s Intergalactic Power Punch has been made available for anyone to download and play, presumably with an NES emulator.
The story behind the rom's release began three weeks ago when Jason "DreamTR" Wilson -- known by many in video game collecting circles for his stockpile of rarities and prototypes -- notified the NintendoAge community that he would be willing to dump the data from his prototype cart of Mike Tyson’s Intergalactic Power Punch for $2000.
Over 50 of NintendoAge.com's forum members raised that $1500, with a couple donating $100 or more, and others even selling games from their own collections to scrounge up contribution money.
The rom is now available for anyone to download - unfortunately, Mike Tyson's Intergalactic Power Punch is terrible. You can see footage of it here, recorded by NESguide:
- taken (in paraphrased form) from gamesetwatch.com
So I could do that too. Yeah. No.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Fan-Made Fantastica
After spending all day in the hospital with my wonderful girlfriend (who had to have her appendix taken out), I came out and found a few interesting things online.
The first: Fan-made trailer for "The Green Lantern"
This is the best fan made trailer I've ever seen. The person who put it together used about 20 - 30 different movie/tv sources to create a piece of video made to look like the trailer to The Green Lantern. It is unbelievable. check it out:
The other thing I found was another fan-made piece of work I really enjoyed.
In Gremlins 2, there's a part in the movie where the film breaks and it is meant to look like Gremlins have either ruined the film (if you saw it in theatres) or ruined your VHS tape of the movie (if you are watching it on VHS).
Well, this guy took that part and edited in his own Gremlins - seriously - and scenes from Batman, The Goonies, Indiana Jones, and more. Came out great:
How did this guy do it? Why, he molded his own plastic/rubber Gremlins of course. Yeah...video from the guy explaining the process:
The coolest stuff comes from independent artists.
The first: Fan-made trailer for "The Green Lantern"
This is the best fan made trailer I've ever seen. The person who put it together used about 20 - 30 different movie/tv sources to create a piece of video made to look like the trailer to The Green Lantern. It is unbelievable. check it out:
The other thing I found was another fan-made piece of work I really enjoyed.
In Gremlins 2, there's a part in the movie where the film breaks and it is meant to look like Gremlins have either ruined the film (if you saw it in theatres) or ruined your VHS tape of the movie (if you are watching it on VHS).
Well, this guy took that part and edited in his own Gremlins - seriously - and scenes from Batman, The Goonies, Indiana Jones, and more. Came out great:
How did this guy do it? Why, he molded his own plastic/rubber Gremlins of course. Yeah...video from the guy explaining the process:
The coolest stuff comes from independent artists.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Chuck Staton is a hero
Well, I've accomplished one of the most important things that I ever will accomplish, so I decided to post it here.
I usually stray away from my specific "modding"/"piracy" involvement, but not when it's something as important as this is.
Long ago, I fell in love with a certain video game peripheral for the Super Nintendo. It was called the Super Scope Six.
The only game I had that worked with the Super Scope?
Yoshi's Safari.
Yoshi's Safari (called "Yoshi Road Hunting" in Japan) is a "rail-shooter" (a first person shooter that moves on it's own - you know, like in arcades) where you are Mario, with a huge bazooka (the Super Scope Six), and you kill enemies while riding Yoshi.
The story was that King Koopa (and his no-good kids) had taken a bunch of jewels from Jewelry Land (this is true) and you had to go through levels and defeat them one-by-one.
Anyway - I just found out last night that you could put an emulator on the Wii that emulates SNES games. I have no need for this really, but I downloaded it and threw it on just to see if it had Super Scope support (you know, because the Wii-motes all have the lightgun capabilites).
Needless to say, it did.
Through hours of index-finger torment, I overcame all the Koopas, including one that looked suspisciously like Tom Wells riding a giant frog
and King Koopa, who liked he had been combined with Shredder from the Ninja Turtles.
I really want to acknowledge God on this one. I think he'd be the most....jealous.
I usually stray away from my specific "modding"/"piracy" involvement, but not when it's something as important as this is.
Long ago, I fell in love with a certain video game peripheral for the Super Nintendo. It was called the Super Scope Six.
The only game I had that worked with the Super Scope?
Yoshi's Safari.
Yoshi's Safari (called "Yoshi Road Hunting" in Japan) is a "rail-shooter" (a first person shooter that moves on it's own - you know, like in arcades) where you are Mario, with a huge bazooka (the Super Scope Six), and you kill enemies while riding Yoshi.
The story was that King Koopa (and his no-good kids) had taken a bunch of jewels from Jewelry Land (this is true) and you had to go through levels and defeat them one-by-one.
Anyway - I just found out last night that you could put an emulator on the Wii that emulates SNES games. I have no need for this really, but I downloaded it and threw it on just to see if it had Super Scope support (you know, because the Wii-motes all have the lightgun capabilites).
Needless to say, it did.
Through hours of index-finger torment, I overcame all the Koopas, including one that looked suspisciously like Tom Wells riding a giant frog
and King Koopa, who liked he had been combined with Shredder from the Ninja Turtles.
I really want to acknowledge God on this one. I think he'd be the most....jealous.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Uncharted 2/ GH 5 details
Okay let's get this out of the way first - GH 5 is going to be the next step.
I've always disliked the lack of design and detail in Rock Band. It's just boring. Playing the songs with your friend is fun (although easier than GH) but the game itself is boring - GH has always been better, design-wise and all-around feel-wise.
But Rock Band ALWAYS had the upper hand, because whenever a new Rock Band game came out, you could add all the songs to your newest library (meaning when Rock Band 2 came out, I transferred my 60 or 70 Rock Band 1 songs to my Rock Band 2 library and sold my Rock Band 1 game back to Gamestop, and still had all the songs). Same thing with DLC songs for any Rock Band game...I have almost 300 songs in my Rock Band library.
GH never had this option - if I want to play "Jessica" (featured in GH 2) I have to go back to that old game disc to do so - and now there have been five GH games for Xbox 360 (seven by this fall). This also means if you bought DLC songs for GH 3, they don't show up in GH 4.
GH 5 details have been revealed - what's been added is DLC support for GH 4 (which means all DLC bought from last October and from now on) will work with it, and also that as many players can play an instrument at a time as you want (four people can jam out on four guitars - or drums, or vocals - together on one song).
These are awesome steps, but I'm hoping to God they will allow you to add the GH songs from previous games to your GH 5 library (to an extent: keep reading), and allow song additions from there on out - and I think this is possible, because starting with GH 4, each game came with a unique user code (just like Rock Band games). So far they've been used to get some free songs (GH 4) and some codes haven't been used at all (Metallica) - but because these same codes have been included in Rock Band solely for the purpose of adding that game's songs to one big library, I'm thinking this is what they will do (especially now that they are releasing all the old, pre-drum/mic songs with drums and vocals, in new games) and it looks to be that way. Let's all hope together.
and the reason I posted - five minutes of unbelievable Uncharted 2 footage:
I've always disliked the lack of design and detail in Rock Band. It's just boring. Playing the songs with your friend is fun (although easier than GH) but the game itself is boring - GH has always been better, design-wise and all-around feel-wise.
But Rock Band ALWAYS had the upper hand, because whenever a new Rock Band game came out, you could add all the songs to your newest library (meaning when Rock Band 2 came out, I transferred my 60 or 70 Rock Band 1 songs to my Rock Band 2 library and sold my Rock Band 1 game back to Gamestop, and still had all the songs). Same thing with DLC songs for any Rock Band game...I have almost 300 songs in my Rock Band library.
GH never had this option - if I want to play "Jessica" (featured in GH 2) I have to go back to that old game disc to do so - and now there have been five GH games for Xbox 360 (seven by this fall). This also means if you bought DLC songs for GH 3, they don't show up in GH 4.
GH 5 details have been revealed - what's been added is DLC support for GH 4 (which means all DLC bought from last October and from now on) will work with it, and also that as many players can play an instrument at a time as you want (four people can jam out on four guitars - or drums, or vocals - together on one song).
These are awesome steps, but I'm hoping to God they will allow you to add the GH songs from previous games to your GH 5 library (to an extent: keep reading), and allow song additions from there on out - and I think this is possible, because starting with GH 4, each game came with a unique user code (just like Rock Band games). So far they've been used to get some free songs (GH 4) and some codes haven't been used at all (Metallica) - but because these same codes have been included in Rock Band solely for the purpose of adding that game's songs to one big library, I'm thinking this is what they will do (especially now that they are releasing all the old, pre-drum/mic songs with drums and vocals, in new games) and it looks to be that way. Let's all hope together.
and the reason I posted - five minutes of unbelievable Uncharted 2 footage:
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Hilarious Spiderman Comics
So a while back, someone took existing Spiderman comics and changed the wording.
I didn't check who did this, as I am too lazy for that. See why I'm a journalist? Thumbs up!
Anyway - there were about 20 - I picked what I think were the best ones - hope you enjoy them (before you view them, realize that these are not all connected at all - each one is just three panels, self-contained).
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I think this has been done before with Garfield as well. I'll have to check (by the way - there is a Garfield comic maker - http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/public/sleep/starslp/missionz/comic.htm - so make some yourselves.
In final weird-ass news, Bill Hader and Seth Meyers (from SNL) have written a one-shot issue of Spiderman, entitled "The Short Halloween".
I know all you Batman fans are wondering if it's a parody of the legendary "Long Halloween" Batman story, and I don't think it is - just a parody of the title. It's out today in comic book stores. I, for one, am picking it up.
I didn't check who did this, as I am too lazy for that. See why I'm a journalist? Thumbs up!
Anyway - there were about 20 - I picked what I think were the best ones - hope you enjoy them (before you view them, realize that these are not all connected at all - each one is just three panels, self-contained).
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I think this has been done before with Garfield as well. I'll have to check (by the way - there is a Garfield comic maker - http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/public/sleep/starslp/missionz/comic.htm - so make some yourselves.
In final weird-ass news, Bill Hader and Seth Meyers (from SNL) have written a one-shot issue of Spiderman, entitled "The Short Halloween".
I know all you Batman fans are wondering if it's a parody of the legendary "Long Halloween" Batman story, and I don't think it is - just a parody of the title. It's out today in comic book stores. I, for one, am picking it up.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Puh puh poker face
Okay so as most people know, I'm really into pop music in general. When Lady Gaga came out with the single "Pokerface", it was the type of song that I thought was pretty good. Catchy - honestly, it had a hook that seemed very familiar to me (especially the "can't read my, can't read my" part) and didn't stand out, but was still alright.
If you don't know the song, check it out (along with the video) here:
Okay, so it's a dance-y pop song. The music video is either exactly what a music video should be, or exactly what it shouldn't be.
Regardless - nothing too spectacular, right?
Well, that's where you're wrong. Am I referring to the fact that she refers to her vagina as a muffin while pointing at it? No (but that is definitely spectacular).
Check this out. This is the same person - and also the same song.
Yeah. This is ridiculously awesome and impressive to me. That's all.
If you don't know the song, check it out (along with the video) here:
Okay, so it's a dance-y pop song. The music video is either exactly what a music video should be, or exactly what it shouldn't be.
Regardless - nothing too spectacular, right?
Well, that's where you're wrong. Am I referring to the fact that she refers to her vagina as a muffin while pointing at it? No (but that is definitely spectacular).
Check this out. This is the same person - and also the same song.
Yeah. This is ridiculously awesome and impressive to me. That's all.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Bam Margera's perfect dropkick
Tonight I saw Bam Margera and his "buddy" Novak in Portsmouth, and Bam hit him with such a sick, awful, killer dropkick, that I had to shake my head.
I remembered that he caught him with a similar dropkick in "Where The Fuck Is Santa?" (the Christmas DVD release from Bam) that I had to look it up on Youtube.
What I found was a third dropkick, exactly the same, just as high, just as perfect, just as awful and painful. This makes me feel like Bam and Novak understand it's like, their "thing" they do. Except:
A. It must kill Bam. I was about four feet away from Bam tonight, and the floor of the bar shook like someone dropped a ton of bricks onto the ground
B. If it kills Bam, then it doubly/perhaps-triply murders Novak. It takes him completely off his feet and he never is looking at Bam when he does it.
Here's the kick:
I remembered that he caught him with a similar dropkick in "Where The Fuck Is Santa?" (the Christmas DVD release from Bam) that I had to look it up on Youtube.
What I found was a third dropkick, exactly the same, just as high, just as perfect, just as awful and painful. This makes me feel like Bam and Novak understand it's like, their "thing" they do. Except:
A. It must kill Bam. I was about four feet away from Bam tonight, and the floor of the bar shook like someone dropped a ton of bricks onto the ground
B. If it kills Bam, then it doubly/perhaps-triply murders Novak. It takes him completely off his feet and he never is looking at Bam when he does it.
Here's the kick:
Friday, April 10, 2009
Jimmy Fallon - Audience Facebook Status
If you don't like Jimmy Fallon, you're either really dumb, or you just haven't seen his good stuff. Or you've seen "Taxi" or "Fever Pitch" (I'm not 100% committed to that joke, as I've seen niether).
I've said it before and I'll say it again - the Jimmy Fallon SNL DVD is one of my favorite SNL DVDs (along with the first Will Ferrel one, and the 25th Anniversary Show). Definitely pick it up if you can.
This is a clip from Late Night With Jimmy Fallon. I don't think this is executed here that well, but one joke is definitely great, and I think this concept is REALLY funny. I wish me and "my team" could write this segment for Jimmy Fallon because I feel like we could really kill it.
Either way, good concept that has a TON of potential as a small segment.
I've said it before and I'll say it again - the Jimmy Fallon SNL DVD is one of my favorite SNL DVDs (along with the first Will Ferrel one, and the 25th Anniversary Show). Definitely pick it up if you can.
This is a clip from Late Night With Jimmy Fallon. I don't think this is executed here that well, but one joke is definitely great, and I think this concept is REALLY funny. I wish me and "my team" could write this segment for Jimmy Fallon because I feel like we could really kill it.
Either way, good concept that has a TON of potential as a small segment.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
My favorite bull-trampling video of all time
Knoxville is still the champion of getting killed by bulls (and other horned beasts) but this has got to feel like hell on earth for so many people, and is therefore, my number one bull-trampling video of all time.
Absolute Disaster at Running of the Bulls - Watch more Funny Videos
Absolute Disaster at Running of the Bulls - Watch more Funny Videos
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
My First Mobile Post
Google Mobile runs blogger, which is the blog I use. Supposedly, I can
update my blog just by creating an email and sending an email from my
G1 to a specific email adress (chuckstaton.SECRETWORD@blogger.com -
there's a secret word there, or else ANYONE could just update it).
This has to be BS right? Well, I'm trying it now. Let's see what the
hell comes up.
update my blog just by creating an email and sending an email from my
G1 to a specific email adress (chuckstaton.SECRETWORD@blogger.com -
there's a secret word there, or else ANYONE could just update it).
This has to be BS right? Well, I'm trying it now. Let's see what the
hell comes up.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
The Truth Comes Out!
I recently wrote an article about the blink-182 reunion. I wrote it from an extremely journalistic viewpoint (barely any opinions) - although the truth is that blink 182 is very possibly my favorite band of all time. When it's printed I will link it here.
I think the reasons for this are pretty evident, although I plan on writing a piece explaining why fairly soon.
That being said - I found this article to be extremely interesting, and a great, great view on cynical idiots who got into music, wanted to be part of the music scene, and having had it end up making them basically criticize everything music-related that comes out - usually including what got them into it in the first place.
So read this awesome article about a cynical music journalist, who was turned around by the prospects of a reunited Mark Hoppus, Tom DeLonge and Travis Barker
I think the reasons for this are pretty evident, although I plan on writing a piece explaining why fairly soon.
That being said - I found this article to be extremely interesting, and a great, great view on cynical idiots who got into music, wanted to be part of the music scene, and having had it end up making them basically criticize everything music-related that comes out - usually including what got them into it in the first place.
So read this awesome article about a cynical music journalist, who was turned around by the prospects of a reunited Mark Hoppus, Tom DeLonge and Travis Barker
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Something to sneeze at?
So this is not going to be one of my normal blog posts (of which I have not posted in a long, long time). The reason for that, I believe, will be explained here.
Senior Discount has gone into overdrive in recent weeks. Sort of. The rest of the band is actually doing less work than normal (as, for a period of time, we had shows weekly, and now I believe we'd had/have a total of four scheduled from 1/10/09 - 3/13/09.
The deal is that the work on the website and our EP (which will be launched together) has really picked up. I decided not to wait for the (at least four) people who kept telling me they would help me. I do not consider myself an expert in web design or HTML (my main source of income comes from a job that is exactly that - but I will say that a landscaping website is very different in design than a punk rock band who creates constant new content, including music, videos, podcasts, shows, flyers and whatever else we can think of - oddly enough, the more professional things need to get, the simpler the design...also, my main HTML tasks with my actual job are more e-mail printing/scanning/quote-sending based, since I already have finished designing their website). Yeah, with the S*D website, I am going to need help.
I've gotten some - Natalie Holl, who met at White Noise Records, is a wonderful and sexy woman who does professional photography for us (of which we desperately needed when considering the *new* band lay-out, and all my design ideas), but besides that, it's basically been me doing any and all design/HTML work.
Tom's new boyfriend Devlin is on the team to help with web design, but so far has not been very fruitful (despite how "full of fruit" I assume he must be behind closed doors). I'm sure he will come through and help with the small tasks I need help with, at some point.
During the final stages (that we are almost in) I am almost positive I will have to call on the knowledge of sir/doctor Jordan Furtado. Jordan set up our past four websites (yep, there have been four, including a pre-Tom Wells S*D site) to finalize the HTML stuff. I also believe I will need to find someone who is familiar with myspace HTML - I've got a lot of it down besides the final stuff (if you know someone who does it - please tell them to email me at chuckstaton@gmail.com).
But the design is very much on its way. We're also trying to finish up our EP (which is also neccessary for the launch of the site, and actually more the main reason FOR it). This is a pain in the ass. White Noise Records has closed its' doors (who would have been our label for the upcoming S*D full-length) and they were the ones doing the EP with us. Fortunately, we recorded all the drum parts before they closed, so we are finishing the vocals, bass, guitar, acoustic guitar/bass, violin, etc. in other places.
My idea for the new site is constant content. I want people to be able to check the S*D site every Monday and KNOW there will be something new for them to check out and interact with. That will happen, which leads me to my next new thing...
Agreeing To Disagree: The Chuck and Brad Podcast - this is my new podcast with my good friend Brad. Basically, the truth of it is that the podcast will take over a lot of what this blog used to be. Any updates or opinions on situations/technology/movies/music/etc from me will be there, discussed with Brad. We also are focusing on local music as well, so we're going to try to do band interviews (the first one was Penrose, who cancelled at the last minute - completely explained in our newest podcast, posted about two hours ago at www.seniordiscountmusic.com) and we're playing local RI music the entire time in the background. Tons of RI bands have signed on so it's going well. The podcast will have a new episode weekly.
With all that S*D stuff - the truth is that one of my new goals is to make it so that Senior Discount can be our full-time job. I want Sousa, Christian and Tom to be able to quit their jobs and work for the band. I basically do band stuff 24/7, and I think if we could all focus on it the same way, we would get a ton more done. On top of that - I oftentimes feel gypped(sp?) and bitter about how much time I spend on this, while the other guys are out making money (they each make between two and three times what I make, because they focus on that while I focus on the band). So when that happens I tend to peeter out (I feel like I've heard that expression before?) because I get depressed about it.
The way I'm trying to get the money thing rolling is a combination of two things...a booking agent, and sponsorships. We don't need a lot of money to live. If we could play shows constantly (as constantly as the rest of the band works) we could make a fair amount of money, and if we could get local sponsorships, it would help a ton as well.
Why would businesses ever give us money?
Well here's why: Online, we generate about 2,200 unique visitors on the myspace per month (and this is taken at a time when we haven't released an album in two years, and our main site is completely shut down - our numbers our normally much much higher than this), we're going to be doing the podcast weekly (during which we can plug the sponsors), we're going to have a huge main website soon, as well as obviously continue playing out - the total attendance of Senior Discount shows in the the 60 days from November 29th - Jan 28th was around 3,400 people. On top of all that we obviously are constantly promoting ourselves on myspace and in REAL LIFE!
Again - I'd like to reiterate - these are all numbers from our downtime stuff (right now, when we're focusing on recording, mixing and new web design). They will jump incredibly when our new site and album are launched (especially as it's a FREE album). We've already been approached by RI Hosting - small web company, and they sponsor us (they pay for us to have unlimited space and bandwith on their servers for our new website and EP). I think that these numbers combined with our history could attract some small-time local investors. I'm thinking stuff like In Your Ear music in Warren, Ray Mullin's (guitar shop), Antonio's Pizza in Providence, maybe Club Hell or a local Providence publication, Newbury Comics (New England-based), Rod's Grille, Del's Lemonade, the Comedy Connection, etc etc.
I think of a place like, say Antonio's Pizza paying us a certain amount of money per week or so for a spot on our myspace, our website, a mention in the weekly podcast, and an advertisement on our merch table, may be a low-risk and easy investment on their part. They also get the allure of, instead of paying for advertising space, actually sponsoring local artists (which is much more respectable).
I also want to look at national advertisers (which would be much more difficult). Even just one big investor (be it clothing, music, alcohol, condoms, etc) could mean a great deal of money. There are a lot of weird sponsorship deals around. Steve-O was sponsored by the clothing company XYZ long before Jackass even started; there's a group of jackass-like idiots called like, The Crazy Idiots who are not famous whatsoever and they are sponsored by at least three different clothing companies - these deals can be incredibly lucrative.
Also, when I say the Senior Discount "history" - on top of those numbers, here's a short list of things we've done:
- Three out of the four of us have college degrees (in Film, Communications, and Elementary Education)
- Senior Discount has played over 200 shows in states such as RI, MA, VT, NJ, NY, PA, and CT.
- Have opened for Gym Class Heroes, Girl Talk, Boys Like Girls, The Bravery, The Ataris, Leftover Crack, Just Surrender, A Wilhelm Scream, the Street Dogs, Zox, Bad Larry, Westbound Train, Monty Are I, Daly's Gone Wrong, Big D and the Kids Table, Brain Failure, Catch 22, Darkbuster, Stealing Jane, Rehab, River City Rebels, Jimmy's Chicken Shack, Someday Providence, Mickey Avalon, Streetlight Manifesto, Sasquatch and the Sick-A-Billys, the Bloodshot Hooligans, Tip The Van, The Loved Ones, MC Lars, Badfish, Mastamindz, Whole Wheat Bread, Suburban Legends, Patent Pending, and many many more.
- Senior Discount's debut (and so far, only) album, "There Were Four Who Tried...", has gotten many reviews from all over, including very positive reviews from Razorcake (CA), Hussieskunk (OH), Plug-In Music (PA), Rock Is Life (MA), Suburban Horror (CA), Upstarter (ID), as well as The Unbound Zine (Canada), and No Front Teeth (The UK). They feel that they've gotten their most important reviews from the historic Maximum Rock N Roll (CA), which boasted, "These guys can rock and scream….a strong full-length," and the revered AbsolutePunk.net, which stated "The band really acts out their emotions….Every track from the album is an anthem to punk rock's principles."
- Their one full-length film ("VBW Attack: The Senior Discount Movie") led to the band selling out a 350-person capacity movie theatre for the premiere, and the subsequent DVD release for the film garnished a win for "Best Comedy" in the 2008 Indie Gathering Film Festival (which is one of the top 25 film festivals, as rated by MovieMaker Magazine). Their film also got shining reviews from Punk Globe (CA) which said "It's well done, it astounded me. These guys are having fun," and The Noise (Boston) which reported "...let's just say that this DVD is gold and that the band, and those with them, have some mighty winds at their sails."
- The national television network G4 has bought footage from the film, started airing the clips in late 2008, and continues to air them. Senior Discount's online videos have achieved over 30,000 views on streaming video websites, and have also sold footage to the web site Break.com.
- In 2007 and again 2008, Senior Discount won the Providence Phoenix Best Music Poll for Best Punk Band - two years in a row. The Phoenix has received many awards for excellence in journalism, including honors from the New England Press Association, the American Bar Association Gavel Awards, the ASCAP-Deems Taylor Awards and many more.
- The Mighty Mighty Bosstones personally picked Senior Discount as one of the top five bands in the contest to open for the MMB's at their Hometown Throw-Down show show on New Years Eve '07/'08.
- Senior Discount were also semi-finalists in the 2008 95.5 WBRU Rockhunt, a yearly contest held by WBRU, which is frequently named one of the best radio stations in the country by numerous trade magazines such as Billboard and Rolling Stone - Rolling Stone named it best radio station in the country in a medium size market three years in a row, the only radio station ever to achieve that. WBRU also had Senior Discount play their "Rock Hunt kick-off" show on Jan 23, 2009, and before that Senior Discount played the 2008 WBRU Birthday Bash at the specific request of Girl Talk, a very popular mash-up DJ - Girl Talk's album "Feed The Animals" was named Time Magazine's #4 album of the year (out of 10) in 2008.
That's nothing to sneeze at. Especially from a local perspective - we've been tethered to Rhode Island for our entire time as a band (because we were all graduating - I got my degree as recently as Jan 09!) so we've basically all had full-time jobs or full-time college careers (or both) up until this point.
So yeah, I'm talking to my buddy Arcello about that, and I'm talking to anyone I can about the booking agent part. I really want to just open for Whole Wheat Bread, Big D and the Kids Table, or someone else like that on a tour where they are headlining. A band we have a previous relationship with that we feel like we have achieved the right status to open on a tour of that size. (If you know any booking agents - please tell me - chuckstaton@gmail.com).
But yeah that's my viewpoint there. If we could launch the new site and the new free EP and do a tour right then, along with a booking agent and some sponsors, I'd be one happy pappy.
On top of all that - I've also decided that I should make a move into journalism. Why? Maybe because English was my strongest subject in school. Maybe because my highest GPA in college with in my creative writing class (3.9). Maybe because I constantly write, feel I'm good at it, and enjoy it?
It also has to do with the fact that I feel there are certain areas that I'm knowledge-able in, and certainly study. The main field, of course, being film.
After that is television, video games, technology, and music. I put music last because I feel that music is just so oddly subjective that its difficult to criticize, and also because I'm not huge on "trends" which seems to be something that is looked at as actually a respectable thing in music critique-ing.
Anyway - I've gotten a job at a new nightlife publication in Providence called "The In-Prov" (the title may change - or maybe has changed - it hasn't come out yet so I don't know).
So far I've written one piece about reality television (taken and cleaned up from this blog) and one piece about the blink-182 reunion. I also have currently assigned to me a review of the GTA DLC game for Xbox 360, a review of the T-Mobile G1 with all of the advancements it's made in its first three months, and a review of the Monty Are I show at Club Hell next weekend.
The job is non-paid for now, but they are planning on paying us eventually. Truthfully, everything starts up small so I am dedicated to writing, and hopefully being looked at as a hard-worker/team-player so that when checks do start being written, I will be awarded and given the opportunity to continue being a team-player and earning my checks.
Worst case scenario - I get some stuff published, and if I find out I will not be getting compensated, then I will at least have some articles and resume' to give to somewhere else when I look for another job.
I honestly feel that I'm a good writer, I'm at least slightly clever, and that I can give an informed and informative (those are two different words) opinion/critique of things that fall within my area of "expertise".
In doing everything I've just mentioned, I've developed a crippling case of insomnia. I suppose this comes because I get in bed and constantly think of all things in my Google Calendar that I'm scheduled to do the next day. I have a constant schedule, seven days a week, when it comes to working on Senior Discount music, the Senior Discount website, booking shows, trying to get Tom to help me book shows, promoting shows, designing the flyer for every show, PLAYING shows, practicing, working (extremely slightly) on music, trying to contact people to help me with web design, new ideas for the band (like the sponshorship one), fixing the van (which has been back and forth to the mechanic FIVE times now for one problem that he seemingly can't fix), figuring out how to pay off our debts (I will admit they are small ones), promoting the band in general, trying to push our new song to finish getting mixed/trying to push the recording of the rest of our instruments for our OTHER new songs, organizing photoshoots for all the new web stuff, recording/editing the podcast, talking to bands about the podcast, doing the graphics/posting/RSS-feeding the podcast, figuring out what my next article will be, actually experiencing the music/movie/game/etc that the new article will be, writing/researching it - and this is all on top of my actual job (which I dont really have to schedule, as I'm constantly told alerted whenever I need to do things), taking care of my actual life (paying my bills, taking my car in to get fixed, spending time with my hot girlfriend), and also the regular stuff that comes up (attending planned events, doing errands, going to family functions - which come up more than they need to, and in general spending time with all the people in my life).
I think I lay down and think "I have to do these 17 things tomorrow. I can definitely get 7 done tonight." and then I try to push that out of my head. But of course I cannot. I think that maybe it just comes from a feeling of being overwhelmed combined with an extreme worry. I am always extremely worried about the next step. I simply want to take the next step and basically have us all make a small amount of money working for the band. That would make it a million times easier for all of us and that really bothers me constantly.
I feel like I can never get my mind to slow down when it comes to art and figuring out how to make my devotion to art a feasible project. I don't think I could be happy without it.
So I want to start going to a therapist. I have a regular doctor's appointment in late March and I will ask him about it then. Maybe I can get some Ambien? I don't know anyone who takes it but I am interested.
I'd also like a therapist's help otherwise in my life: I feel like I am constantly disappointed in how people close to me act and the way in which they make decisions, and I want to try to find a way to make peace with that. I certainly can't do it by myself.
So that's it. I am going to be posting here more often, but about what I don't know. All my opinions will be either on the podcast or in the articles I'm writing. I will certainly post those here when they are up and we'll have to see what else I feel like posting about.
I have a new awesome little laptop (it's a great HP - 4 gigs of ram, very small, as I've always wanted - fastest laptop I've ever had) and I'm hoping that makes me more comfortable taking it places and working on whatever I need/want to work on (very possibly this blog).
My blog is also now embedded in my myspace, so now you only need to go to one place to see new pictures of me, here my acoustic bullshit, read my blog bullshit, and look at the list of my one thousand favorite movies/tv shows and music. You lucky dick!
But yeah. Wish me luck. I need it.
- chuckstaton
PS - check out the podcast, Brad has an awesome voice - www.seniordiscountmusic.com
Senior Discount has gone into overdrive in recent weeks. Sort of. The rest of the band is actually doing less work than normal (as, for a period of time, we had shows weekly, and now I believe we'd had/have a total of four scheduled from 1/10/09 - 3/13/09.
The deal is that the work on the website and our EP (which will be launched together) has really picked up. I decided not to wait for the (at least four) people who kept telling me they would help me. I do not consider myself an expert in web design or HTML (my main source of income comes from a job that is exactly that - but I will say that a landscaping website is very different in design than a punk rock band who creates constant new content, including music, videos, podcasts, shows, flyers and whatever else we can think of - oddly enough, the more professional things need to get, the simpler the design...also, my main HTML tasks with my actual job are more e-mail printing/scanning/quote-sending based, since I already have finished designing their website). Yeah, with the S*D website, I am going to need help.
I've gotten some - Natalie Holl, who met at White Noise Records, is a wonderful and sexy woman who does professional photography for us (of which we desperately needed when considering the *new* band lay-out, and all my design ideas), but besides that, it's basically been me doing any and all design/HTML work.
Tom's new boyfriend Devlin is on the team to help with web design, but so far has not been very fruitful (despite how "full of fruit" I assume he must be behind closed doors). I'm sure he will come through and help with the small tasks I need help with, at some point.
During the final stages (that we are almost in) I am almost positive I will have to call on the knowledge of sir/doctor Jordan Furtado. Jordan set up our past four websites (yep, there have been four, including a pre-Tom Wells S*D site) to finalize the HTML stuff. I also believe I will need to find someone who is familiar with myspace HTML - I've got a lot of it down besides the final stuff (if you know someone who does it - please tell them to email me at chuckstaton@gmail.com).
But the design is very much on its way. We're also trying to finish up our EP (which is also neccessary for the launch of the site, and actually more the main reason FOR it). This is a pain in the ass. White Noise Records has closed its' doors (who would have been our label for the upcoming S*D full-length) and they were the ones doing the EP with us. Fortunately, we recorded all the drum parts before they closed, so we are finishing the vocals, bass, guitar, acoustic guitar/bass, violin, etc. in other places.
My idea for the new site is constant content. I want people to be able to check the S*D site every Monday and KNOW there will be something new for them to check out and interact with. That will happen, which leads me to my next new thing...
Agreeing To Disagree: The Chuck and Brad Podcast - this is my new podcast with my good friend Brad. Basically, the truth of it is that the podcast will take over a lot of what this blog used to be. Any updates or opinions on situations/technology/movies/music/etc from me will be there, discussed with Brad. We also are focusing on local music as well, so we're going to try to do band interviews (the first one was Penrose, who cancelled at the last minute - completely explained in our newest podcast, posted about two hours ago at www.seniordiscountmusic.com) and we're playing local RI music the entire time in the background. Tons of RI bands have signed on so it's going well. The podcast will have a new episode weekly.
With all that S*D stuff - the truth is that one of my new goals is to make it so that Senior Discount can be our full-time job. I want Sousa, Christian and Tom to be able to quit their jobs and work for the band. I basically do band stuff 24/7, and I think if we could all focus on it the same way, we would get a ton more done. On top of that - I oftentimes feel gypped(sp?) and bitter about how much time I spend on this, while the other guys are out making money (they each make between two and three times what I make, because they focus on that while I focus on the band). So when that happens I tend to peeter out (I feel like I've heard that expression before?) because I get depressed about it.
The way I'm trying to get the money thing rolling is a combination of two things...a booking agent, and sponsorships. We don't need a lot of money to live. If we could play shows constantly (as constantly as the rest of the band works) we could make a fair amount of money, and if we could get local sponsorships, it would help a ton as well.
Why would businesses ever give us money?
Well here's why: Online, we generate about 2,200 unique visitors on the myspace per month (and this is taken at a time when we haven't released an album in two years, and our main site is completely shut down - our numbers our normally much much higher than this), we're going to be doing the podcast weekly (during which we can plug the sponsors), we're going to have a huge main website soon, as well as obviously continue playing out - the total attendance of Senior Discount shows in the the 60 days from November 29th - Jan 28th was around 3,400 people. On top of all that we obviously are constantly promoting ourselves on myspace and in REAL LIFE!
Again - I'd like to reiterate - these are all numbers from our downtime stuff (right now, when we're focusing on recording, mixing and new web design). They will jump incredibly when our new site and album are launched (especially as it's a FREE album). We've already been approached by RI Hosting - small web company, and they sponsor us (they pay for us to have unlimited space and bandwith on their servers for our new website and EP). I think that these numbers combined with our history could attract some small-time local investors. I'm thinking stuff like In Your Ear music in Warren, Ray Mullin's (guitar shop), Antonio's Pizza in Providence, maybe Club Hell or a local Providence publication, Newbury Comics (New England-based), Rod's Grille, Del's Lemonade, the Comedy Connection, etc etc.
I think of a place like, say Antonio's Pizza paying us a certain amount of money per week or so for a spot on our myspace, our website, a mention in the weekly podcast, and an advertisement on our merch table, may be a low-risk and easy investment on their part. They also get the allure of, instead of paying for advertising space, actually sponsoring local artists (which is much more respectable).
I also want to look at national advertisers (which would be much more difficult). Even just one big investor (be it clothing, music, alcohol, condoms, etc) could mean a great deal of money. There are a lot of weird sponsorship deals around. Steve-O was sponsored by the clothing company XYZ long before Jackass even started; there's a group of jackass-like idiots called like, The Crazy Idiots who are not famous whatsoever and they are sponsored by at least three different clothing companies - these deals can be incredibly lucrative.
Also, when I say the Senior Discount "history" - on top of those numbers, here's a short list of things we've done:
- Three out of the four of us have college degrees (in Film, Communications, and Elementary Education)
- Senior Discount has played over 200 shows in states such as RI, MA, VT, NJ, NY, PA, and CT.
- Have opened for Gym Class Heroes, Girl Talk, Boys Like Girls, The Bravery, The Ataris, Leftover Crack, Just Surrender, A Wilhelm Scream, the Street Dogs, Zox, Bad Larry, Westbound Train, Monty Are I, Daly's Gone Wrong, Big D and the Kids Table, Brain Failure, Catch 22, Darkbuster, Stealing Jane, Rehab, River City Rebels, Jimmy's Chicken Shack, Someday Providence, Mickey Avalon, Streetlight Manifesto, Sasquatch and the Sick-A-Billys, the Bloodshot Hooligans, Tip The Van, The Loved Ones, MC Lars, Badfish, Mastamindz, Whole Wheat Bread, Suburban Legends, Patent Pending, and many many more.
- Senior Discount's debut (and so far, only) album, "There Were Four Who Tried...", has gotten many reviews from all over, including very positive reviews from Razorcake (CA), Hussieskunk (OH), Plug-In Music (PA), Rock Is Life (MA), Suburban Horror (CA), Upstarter (ID), as well as The Unbound Zine (Canada), and No Front Teeth (The UK). They feel that they've gotten their most important reviews from the historic Maximum Rock N Roll (CA), which boasted, "These guys can rock and scream….a strong full-length," and the revered AbsolutePunk.net, which stated "The band really acts out their emotions….Every track from the album is an anthem to punk rock's principles."
- Their one full-length film ("VBW Attack: The Senior Discount Movie") led to the band selling out a 350-person capacity movie theatre for the premiere, and the subsequent DVD release for the film garnished a win for "Best Comedy" in the 2008 Indie Gathering Film Festival (which is one of the top 25 film festivals, as rated by MovieMaker Magazine). Their film also got shining reviews from Punk Globe (CA) which said "It's well done, it astounded me. These guys are having fun," and The Noise (Boston) which reported "...let's just say that this DVD is gold and that the band, and those with them, have some mighty winds at their sails."
- The national television network G4 has bought footage from the film, started airing the clips in late 2008, and continues to air them. Senior Discount's online videos have achieved over 30,000 views on streaming video websites, and have also sold footage to the web site Break.com.
- In 2007 and again 2008, Senior Discount won the Providence Phoenix Best Music Poll for Best Punk Band - two years in a row. The Phoenix has received many awards for excellence in journalism, including honors from the New England Press Association, the American Bar Association Gavel Awards, the ASCAP-Deems Taylor Awards and many more.
- The Mighty Mighty Bosstones personally picked Senior Discount as one of the top five bands in the contest to open for the MMB's at their Hometown Throw-Down show show on New Years Eve '07/'08.
- Senior Discount were also semi-finalists in the 2008 95.5 WBRU Rockhunt, a yearly contest held by WBRU, which is frequently named one of the best radio stations in the country by numerous trade magazines such as Billboard and Rolling Stone - Rolling Stone named it best radio station in the country in a medium size market three years in a row, the only radio station ever to achieve that. WBRU also had Senior Discount play their "Rock Hunt kick-off" show on Jan 23, 2009, and before that Senior Discount played the 2008 WBRU Birthday Bash at the specific request of Girl Talk, a very popular mash-up DJ - Girl Talk's album "Feed The Animals" was named Time Magazine's #4 album of the year (out of 10) in 2008.
That's nothing to sneeze at. Especially from a local perspective - we've been tethered to Rhode Island for our entire time as a band (because we were all graduating - I got my degree as recently as Jan 09!) so we've basically all had full-time jobs or full-time college careers (or both) up until this point.
So yeah, I'm talking to my buddy Arcello about that, and I'm talking to anyone I can about the booking agent part. I really want to just open for Whole Wheat Bread, Big D and the Kids Table, or someone else like that on a tour where they are headlining. A band we have a previous relationship with that we feel like we have achieved the right status to open on a tour of that size. (If you know any booking agents - please tell me - chuckstaton@gmail.com).
But yeah that's my viewpoint there. If we could launch the new site and the new free EP and do a tour right then, along with a booking agent and some sponsors, I'd be one happy pappy.
On top of all that - I've also decided that I should make a move into journalism. Why? Maybe because English was my strongest subject in school. Maybe because my highest GPA in college with in my creative writing class (3.9). Maybe because I constantly write, feel I'm good at it, and enjoy it?
It also has to do with the fact that I feel there are certain areas that I'm knowledge-able in, and certainly study. The main field, of course, being film.
After that is television, video games, technology, and music. I put music last because I feel that music is just so oddly subjective that its difficult to criticize, and also because I'm not huge on "trends" which seems to be something that is looked at as actually a respectable thing in music critique-ing.
Anyway - I've gotten a job at a new nightlife publication in Providence called "The In-Prov" (the title may change - or maybe has changed - it hasn't come out yet so I don't know).
So far I've written one piece about reality television (taken and cleaned up from this blog) and one piece about the blink-182 reunion. I also have currently assigned to me a review of the GTA DLC game for Xbox 360, a review of the T-Mobile G1 with all of the advancements it's made in its first three months, and a review of the Monty Are I show at Club Hell next weekend.
The job is non-paid for now, but they are planning on paying us eventually. Truthfully, everything starts up small so I am dedicated to writing, and hopefully being looked at as a hard-worker/team-player so that when checks do start being written, I will be awarded and given the opportunity to continue being a team-player and earning my checks.
Worst case scenario - I get some stuff published, and if I find out I will not be getting compensated, then I will at least have some articles and resume' to give to somewhere else when I look for another job.
I honestly feel that I'm a good writer, I'm at least slightly clever, and that I can give an informed and informative (those are two different words) opinion/critique of things that fall within my area of "expertise".
In doing everything I've just mentioned, I've developed a crippling case of insomnia. I suppose this comes because I get in bed and constantly think of all things in my Google Calendar that I'm scheduled to do the next day. I have a constant schedule, seven days a week, when it comes to working on Senior Discount music, the Senior Discount website, booking shows, trying to get Tom to help me book shows, promoting shows, designing the flyer for every show, PLAYING shows, practicing, working (extremely slightly) on music, trying to contact people to help me with web design, new ideas for the band (like the sponshorship one), fixing the van (which has been back and forth to the mechanic FIVE times now for one problem that he seemingly can't fix), figuring out how to pay off our debts (I will admit they are small ones), promoting the band in general, trying to push our new song to finish getting mixed/trying to push the recording of the rest of our instruments for our OTHER new songs, organizing photoshoots for all the new web stuff, recording/editing the podcast, talking to bands about the podcast, doing the graphics/posting/RSS-feeding the podcast, figuring out what my next article will be, actually experiencing the music/movie/game/etc that the new article will be, writing/researching it - and this is all on top of my actual job (which I dont really have to schedule, as I'm constantly told alerted whenever I need to do things), taking care of my actual life (paying my bills, taking my car in to get fixed, spending time with my hot girlfriend), and also the regular stuff that comes up (attending planned events, doing errands, going to family functions - which come up more than they need to, and in general spending time with all the people in my life).
I think I lay down and think "I have to do these 17 things tomorrow. I can definitely get 7 done tonight." and then I try to push that out of my head. But of course I cannot. I think that maybe it just comes from a feeling of being overwhelmed combined with an extreme worry. I am always extremely worried about the next step. I simply want to take the next step and basically have us all make a small amount of money working for the band. That would make it a million times easier for all of us and that really bothers me constantly.
I feel like I can never get my mind to slow down when it comes to art and figuring out how to make my devotion to art a feasible project. I don't think I could be happy without it.
So I want to start going to a therapist. I have a regular doctor's appointment in late March and I will ask him about it then. Maybe I can get some Ambien? I don't know anyone who takes it but I am interested.
I'd also like a therapist's help otherwise in my life: I feel like I am constantly disappointed in how people close to me act and the way in which they make decisions, and I want to try to find a way to make peace with that. I certainly can't do it by myself.
So that's it. I am going to be posting here more often, but about what I don't know. All my opinions will be either on the podcast or in the articles I'm writing. I will certainly post those here when they are up and we'll have to see what else I feel like posting about.
I have a new awesome little laptop (it's a great HP - 4 gigs of ram, very small, as I've always wanted - fastest laptop I've ever had) and I'm hoping that makes me more comfortable taking it places and working on whatever I need/want to work on (very possibly this blog).
My blog is also now embedded in my myspace, so now you only need to go to one place to see new pictures of me, here my acoustic bullshit, read my blog bullshit, and look at the list of my one thousand favorite movies/tv shows and music. You lucky dick!
But yeah. Wish me luck. I need it.
- chuckstaton
PS - check out the podcast, Brad has an awesome voice - www.seniordiscountmusic.com
Sunday, February 8, 2009
My First Podcast
Check out the new podcast I'm doing with my buddy Brad!
Click here to go to our temporary podcast homepage - the new Senior Discount site will be the main host - until then, thanks for your patience!
Click here to go to our temporary podcast homepage - the new Senior Discount site will be the main host - until then, thanks for your patience!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
New Gay Shits!
I know I haven't posted in a long time, and I apologize to both of the people who read this.
But I promise I will be back with a vengeance (and I will ACTUALLY include Fun Quotes at the end of each post from now on - a second promise!)
Today I leave for an NYC trip. I will post about that when I get back with many pictures.
For now, I leave you with this:
My buddy Brad posted on his blog, and I had to disagree and defend him. Sound confusing? It's not.
It led to me explaining my opinions on the word "gay", which I think is an interesting thing to discuss. So here is Brad's blog (re-printed without permission! Fuck you Brad!) and my response:
ON FIRST IMPRESSIONS
Yesterday's post about how I'm not a good secret keeper inspired today's - how I am not a good first-impression maker. And I'm not talking about high school, before I had developed a real personality. It was actually at college orientation.
A young man named Joe was in my orientation. Nice guy. Apparently, I made some stupid joke about something being "gay." You know, the kind of stupid joke an almost-18 year-old would make. And, as you may have guessed, Joe was gay. (I suppose he still is, but we haven't really spoken in a while.) We eventually became frien-quaintances and he told me how much he hated me that first time we met.
Same orientation, different situation. At the closing dance, I was sitting by myself, as I do at dances, when a very attractive girl came to dance with me. Unbeknownst to me, she had finished dancing with a young man named AJ. Come move-in day, who is my next-door neighbor but AJ? He later told me how much he hated me for dancing with the girl.
So what, you say. It was pre-college. I had employees that I supervised at Walgreens that told me how much they were scared of me when I started at their store (that may have been a supervisory thing, I'm not going to take all the blame). And when conducting the job search that ended up with me in my current position, I interviewed with 45 different schools, and made good first impressions at maybe ten of them. Since I've been here, I've interviewed with another twelve or thirteen schools with no results.
Strategy for making more positive first impressions: Fake it.
posted by Brad at 10:53 AM on Jan 13, 2009
Here is my response:
What the hell man (that originally said the F-word instead of hell, but I know the Christian Children's Organization reads your blog).
I think neither of those qualify as poor first impressions. Dancing with a hot girl you don't know, at a place you don't know, around people you an unfamiliar with - this is NEVER a bad decision.
That guy hated you for reasons you could not control, so let's take that right out as a good example. You made a GOOD choice there.
Secondly, your first example (...) - okay - I call things "gay" all the time. I'll say, that dildo is "gay", or that guy Tom Wells is "gay", or that gay porn is "gay".
But seriously - I definitely think it's okay to take words and mean something else. It's part of our vernacular.
I often say things are "cool" (if I like them) or that things are "weak" (if I don't).
Neither of the things I'm speaking of were either slightly cold, or "the opposite of strong".
No one challenges those words, which were changed to mean something different than they intended. But people always challenge "gay". I think this is wrong. Here's my justification:
Okay, using the word that means "gay person" and rhymes with "maggot" is a strong and very negative gesture. The origins of that word are hateful, and I do not use it. Eminem uses it, and he argues that because he attaches no homosexual (or sexual at all) attributes to its meaning when he uses it, it's okay.
I don't agree with that*. That word is too harsh, and like I said, comes from a place of discrimination and hatred. It's SUPPOSED to be mean, and it's SUPPOSED to hurt people's feelings.
I think using the word "gay" in the non-homosexual way, is not the same thing at all. Here are my three reasons it's okay.
1. You are using it to describe something without any sexual intentions - you have no real connection to the actual meaning ("That new lamp we have is so gay")
You might say "Well how come you attach that reason to this and use it for justification, but Eminem can't use it for the 'maggot' word?"
Here's why:
2. "Gay" means "homosexual". In the gay community, I'm pretty sure it's OK to say a gay person is gay. If a girl says "Hey I think your friend Tom is hitting on me," I might say "Well, I don't think so. He's gay," - and that is in no way a negative or judgmental use of the word in conjunction with its meaning. Gay people will (I believe) say "I'm gay" and the organization whose mission statement is "Ensuring fair, accurate and inclusive representation of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people" has the word GAY in the title (GLAAD)!
So the word "gay" is entirely different from the "maggot" word to me, and I think that that is agreed upon in the gay community. One of them is insulting and mean, and one is just the word to explain their sexual preference
3. "Gay" originally meant "happy", right? I think this is common knowledge. So if it's a word created with one meaning, then it turns into the common non-judgmental word to explain a sexual preference, and now that means no-one else can use it for anything completely unrelated?
Of course I understand that "gay" is often used to explain you don't like something - again "The movie 'The Unborn' was so gay!", but because it had no connection (in meaning) to homosexuality, can't you take the homosexuality terms out of the equation?
Let's be honest here, do I say "gay" because I think "Gay means homosexual, and I want to use that to explain when I feel negatively about something," or has it become part of my speech pattern because it's something that (very simply) just 'caught on'?
Would anyone use the word 'cool' if they didn't hear it somewhere else in the first place? Does it have any connection whatsoever to chilliness? The answer is a very obvious "No".
Like I said, the word "gay" in the homosexual world is extremely neutral, and on top of that, it doesn't only mean "homosexual" - it had other origins - and ON TOP OF THAT - there is NO homosexual connotation in its use**!
So that's my feeling on that. To be honest, "retarded" seems like a meaner (or at least more offensive) word than "gay" is, just because "retarded" really only means one thing, and because it is often used to mean "stupid". That's a whole different ballpark.
On the other hand, I can definitely see that a gay person meeting a "straighty" (as they say - or so I'm told), and having one of the FIRST things that cames out of their mouth be "Hey, that's gay," definitely could be a turn-off.
I think that while I stand behind these opinions, a discussion about them with anyone you might feel might be offended is in order, and I do think you also have to respect how they feel regardless of what your personal opinions are.
Also - keep in mind that not every aspect of your personality should be on the frontline when you meet someone anyway ("Hello young lady, my name is Chuck Staton, and I'm told that I exceed in the field of cunnilingus"). Just because something is true (extremely true) about you or about how you act, doesn't mean that it's the first thing (or within the first few things) a new person has to know about you or deal with.
So, I understand that example of a bad first impression. I don't think I use "gay" that openly in front of people I don't know. I've spoken to Tom Wells (a throbbing member of the gay community, and one of my best friends) and he doesn't attach me saying "gay" to any negative-homosexual meaning whatsoever. Brian Lau (another pal of mine) has told me that one member of a minority cannot speak for them all. This is true - but for me, I think that listening to the feelings of one member of a minority is probably better than listening to myself, when I'm not a member of that minority.
So, if I was around someone that was gay, and I said "That's gay," and they had a problem with it. I'd explain my reasoning, but I wouldn't use it around them if they felt uncomfortable.
I suppose this response makes me seem ignorant? That's fine.
Anyway - Brad, your first impression on me was great. That very first night I told Sousa we had to work you into our videos. But then again, you were demonstrating a particular talent of yours (comedy), and that conflicts greatly with "serious Brad" who is a different, beady-eyed beast altogether.
I think making bad first impressions means that you're an interesting and layered person. Aquired tastes are always pegged as being more sophisticated. Everyone thinks I'm an egotistical dick when they first meet me - but after a while they find out I'm a FUNNY egotistical dick. Who's good at cunnlingus.
*I don't agree with Eminem's stance, but I have to uphold his right to say what he wants. I feel the exact same way about ANYONE (including black people) using the N-word. I don't think it's cool to use either word, but I'm not going to speak out against Ice Cube (or Eminem) for saying what he wants.
**I'm speaking for myself here. I know some people say "Ugh! That's so gay!" in response to like two guys dancing, and that's a completely different thing
So yeah. Tell me what you guys think about that.
Here is the first (of many)....
!!FUN QUOTES!!
Chuck Staton and Aaron Arcello on the weather....
Arce11o: there's not much snow on the ground here in NY and it's supposed to taper off soon
DiscountChuck: yeah there's no snow here
Arce11o: it's really cold though
DiscountChuck: it's not very cold here
Arce11o: it's NOT cold there?
DiscountChuck: yeah I just went outside and moved my car and it wasn't very cold at all
Arce11o: it's 16 degrees here. wind chill is 3
DiscountChuck: maybe you're just a pussy?
DiscountChuck: Hey I just checked weather.com
DiscountChuck: "NOTE: Aaron Arcello should not be used as a thermometer, as he is a pussy."
DiscountChuck: ahhh there's the problem
Arce11o: i'm not purporting to be a thermometer
Arce11o: i'm just reading the forecast
Arce11o: and letting you know that it's cold
DiscountChuck: "PS. Neither should he be allowed to read the forecast, and/or let anyone know whether or not it is cold."
DiscountChuck: this is really weird. how do they even know you?
Arce11o: i interned there for a summer
But I promise I will be back with a vengeance (and I will ACTUALLY include Fun Quotes at the end of each post from now on - a second promise!)
Today I leave for an NYC trip. I will post about that when I get back with many pictures.
For now, I leave you with this:
My buddy Brad posted on his blog, and I had to disagree and defend him. Sound confusing? It's not.
It led to me explaining my opinions on the word "gay", which I think is an interesting thing to discuss. So here is Brad's blog (re-printed without permission! Fuck you Brad!) and my response:
ON FIRST IMPRESSIONS
Yesterday's post about how I'm not a good secret keeper inspired today's - how I am not a good first-impression maker. And I'm not talking about high school, before I had developed a real personality. It was actually at college orientation.
A young man named Joe was in my orientation. Nice guy. Apparently, I made some stupid joke about something being "gay." You know, the kind of stupid joke an almost-18 year-old would make. And, as you may have guessed, Joe was gay. (I suppose he still is, but we haven't really spoken in a while.) We eventually became frien-quaintances and he told me how much he hated me that first time we met.
Same orientation, different situation. At the closing dance, I was sitting by myself, as I do at dances, when a very attractive girl came to dance with me. Unbeknownst to me, she had finished dancing with a young man named AJ. Come move-in day, who is my next-door neighbor but AJ? He later told me how much he hated me for dancing with the girl.
So what, you say. It was pre-college. I had employees that I supervised at Walgreens that told me how much they were scared of me when I started at their store (that may have been a supervisory thing, I'm not going to take all the blame). And when conducting the job search that ended up with me in my current position, I interviewed with 45 different schools, and made good first impressions at maybe ten of them. Since I've been here, I've interviewed with another twelve or thirteen schools with no results.
Strategy for making more positive first impressions: Fake it.
posted by Brad at 10:53 AM on Jan 13, 2009
Here is my response:
What the hell man (that originally said the F-word instead of hell, but I know the Christian Children's Organization reads your blog).
I think neither of those qualify as poor first impressions. Dancing with a hot girl you don't know, at a place you don't know, around people you an unfamiliar with - this is NEVER a bad decision.
That guy hated you for reasons you could not control, so let's take that right out as a good example. You made a GOOD choice there.
Secondly, your first example (...) - okay - I call things "gay" all the time. I'll say, that dildo is "gay", or that guy Tom Wells is "gay", or that gay porn is "gay".
But seriously - I definitely think it's okay to take words and mean something else. It's part of our vernacular.
I often say things are "cool" (if I like them) or that things are "weak" (if I don't).
Neither of the things I'm speaking of were either slightly cold, or "the opposite of strong".
No one challenges those words, which were changed to mean something different than they intended. But people always challenge "gay". I think this is wrong. Here's my justification:
Okay, using the word that means "gay person" and rhymes with "maggot" is a strong and very negative gesture. The origins of that word are hateful, and I do not use it. Eminem uses it, and he argues that because he attaches no homosexual (or sexual at all) attributes to its meaning when he uses it, it's okay.
I don't agree with that*. That word is too harsh, and like I said, comes from a place of discrimination and hatred. It's SUPPOSED to be mean, and it's SUPPOSED to hurt people's feelings.
I think using the word "gay" in the non-homosexual way, is not the same thing at all. Here are my three reasons it's okay.
1. You are using it to describe something without any sexual intentions - you have no real connection to the actual meaning ("That new lamp we have is so gay")
You might say "Well how come you attach that reason to this and use it for justification, but Eminem can't use it for the 'maggot' word?"
Here's why:
2. "Gay" means "homosexual". In the gay community, I'm pretty sure it's OK to say a gay person is gay. If a girl says "Hey I think your friend Tom is hitting on me," I might say "Well, I don't think so. He's gay," - and that is in no way a negative or judgmental use of the word in conjunction with its meaning. Gay people will (I believe) say "I'm gay" and the organization whose mission statement is "Ensuring fair, accurate and inclusive representation of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people" has the word GAY in the title (GLAAD)!
So the word "gay" is entirely different from the "maggot" word to me, and I think that that is agreed upon in the gay community. One of them is insulting and mean, and one is just the word to explain their sexual preference
3. "Gay" originally meant "happy", right? I think this is common knowledge. So if it's a word created with one meaning, then it turns into the common non-judgmental word to explain a sexual preference, and now that means no-one else can use it for anything completely unrelated?
Of course I understand that "gay" is often used to explain you don't like something - again "The movie 'The Unborn' was so gay!", but because it had no connection (in meaning) to homosexuality, can't you take the homosexuality terms out of the equation?
Let's be honest here, do I say "gay" because I think "Gay means homosexual, and I want to use that to explain when I feel negatively about something," or has it become part of my speech pattern because it's something that (very simply) just 'caught on'?
Would anyone use the word 'cool' if they didn't hear it somewhere else in the first place? Does it have any connection whatsoever to chilliness? The answer is a very obvious "No".
Like I said, the word "gay" in the homosexual world is extremely neutral, and on top of that, it doesn't only mean "homosexual" - it had other origins - and ON TOP OF THAT - there is NO homosexual connotation in its use**!
So that's my feeling on that. To be honest, "retarded" seems like a meaner (or at least more offensive) word than "gay" is, just because "retarded" really only means one thing, and because it is often used to mean "stupid". That's a whole different ballpark.
On the other hand, I can definitely see that a gay person meeting a "straighty" (as they say - or so I'm told), and having one of the FIRST things that cames out of their mouth be "Hey, that's gay," definitely could be a turn-off.
I think that while I stand behind these opinions, a discussion about them with anyone you might feel might be offended is in order, and I do think you also have to respect how they feel regardless of what your personal opinions are.
Also - keep in mind that not every aspect of your personality should be on the frontline when you meet someone anyway ("Hello young lady, my name is Chuck Staton, and I'm told that I exceed in the field of cunnilingus"). Just because something is true (extremely true) about you or about how you act, doesn't mean that it's the first thing (or within the first few things) a new person has to know about you or deal with.
So, I understand that example of a bad first impression. I don't think I use "gay" that openly in front of people I don't know. I've spoken to Tom Wells (a throbbing member of the gay community, and one of my best friends) and he doesn't attach me saying "gay" to any negative-homosexual meaning whatsoever. Brian Lau (another pal of mine) has told me that one member of a minority cannot speak for them all. This is true - but for me, I think that listening to the feelings of one member of a minority is probably better than listening to myself, when I'm not a member of that minority.
So, if I was around someone that was gay, and I said "That's gay," and they had a problem with it. I'd explain my reasoning, but I wouldn't use it around them if they felt uncomfortable.
I suppose this response makes me seem ignorant? That's fine.
Anyway - Brad, your first impression on me was great. That very first night I told Sousa we had to work you into our videos. But then again, you were demonstrating a particular talent of yours (comedy), and that conflicts greatly with "serious Brad" who is a different, beady-eyed beast altogether.
I think making bad first impressions means that you're an interesting and layered person. Aquired tastes are always pegged as being more sophisticated. Everyone thinks I'm an egotistical dick when they first meet me - but after a while they find out I'm a FUNNY egotistical dick. Who's good at cunnlingus.
*I don't agree with Eminem's stance, but I have to uphold his right to say what he wants. I feel the exact same way about ANYONE (including black people) using the N-word. I don't think it's cool to use either word, but I'm not going to speak out against Ice Cube (or Eminem) for saying what he wants.
**I'm speaking for myself here. I know some people say "Ugh! That's so gay!" in response to like two guys dancing, and that's a completely different thing
So yeah. Tell me what you guys think about that.
Here is the first (of many)....
!!FUN QUOTES!!
Click here if you don't know what Fun Quotes are
Fun Quotes are small snippets of conversations (mostly online-based, as those are the ones that are recorded) I've had with my (oftentimes funny, oftentimes clever, oftentimes stupid) friends, that I find to be amusing.Chuck Staton and Aaron Arcello on the weather....
Arce11o: there's not much snow on the ground here in NY and it's supposed to taper off soon
DiscountChuck: yeah there's no snow here
Arce11o: it's really cold though
DiscountChuck: it's not very cold here
Arce11o: it's NOT cold there?
DiscountChuck: yeah I just went outside and moved my car and it wasn't very cold at all
Arce11o: it's 16 degrees here. wind chill is 3
DiscountChuck: maybe you're just a pussy?
DiscountChuck: Hey I just checked weather.com
DiscountChuck: "NOTE: Aaron Arcello should not be used as a thermometer, as he is a pussy."
DiscountChuck: ahhh there's the problem
Arce11o: i'm not purporting to be a thermometer
Arce11o: i'm just reading the forecast
Arce11o: and letting you know that it's cold
DiscountChuck: "PS. Neither should he be allowed to read the forecast, and/or let anyone know whether or not it is cold."
DiscountChuck: this is really weird. how do they even know you?
Arce11o: i interned there for a summer
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