Seis! (? How the hell do you spell that ?)

Before we start, I'd like to say that one of my best friends, Tom Wells, has had a really awful thing happen to him this week. His mother passed away suddenly, as the result of a car accident. I feel awful for him and I offer Tom and his family all my condolences.
I know alot of people have talked to Tom about it, and I really believe that they have let him know that many, many, many people are there for him. I also know how thankful he is for that.
Tom is a great guy and he's handling it really, really well. I wish I could do more to make him feel better. Keep Tom and his family in mind.

Alright. What is up children. I have a TON of new "nothing" to say this week.
This blog is going to turn into my commentary on television, movies, books, music, video games, technology, politics, and whatever else I feel like talking about, as well as updates on Chuck Staton the *artist and Chuck Staton the **person, which means Senior Discount updates abound, of course.
I'll try to keep this organized with a new format, so you can see what you're interested in reading:

1. Television (Simpsons, American Dad, Futurama, Family Guy, South Park)
Did everyone watch the season premieres of Simpsons, American Dad and Family Guy on Sunday (last night)? The answer is sort of mixed. No one likes American Dad. I do, but not one else does. The Simpsons, as sad as it is, does not interest me nearly as much as it used to. I think when something becomes so classic, it's weird to have so much content to cover. I feel like I know everything about the first 10 or 12 seasons of the Simpsons, and nothing about the remaining 8 or 9.
I think alot of people feel this way. I still consider the Simpsons to be one of the best shows on television, and at the same, I'm just not really enthralled to watch a new episode. Maybe they've been doing the "Homer is stupid and has a crazy scheme, and our town has so many disasters! Let's do it again!" thing for the past 10 years.
In this episode, Homer and Ned become bounty hunters when this odd couple pairs up for the first (fourth?) time. Marge also starts working for an erotic bakery.
You know, the jokes are still good, but with 400 episodes under their belt, along with (at least) 15 books and as many video games, plus the movie, I'm sad to say the interest, for me, has waned. Is it weird that I feel guilty about that?
American Dad is a show that's just like Futurama to me. People were expecting a clone of the original shows (Family Guy and Simpsons, respectively) and they got something different. I think if I was Matt Groening or Seth MacFarlane, and I was continuing a very popular series while starting a new one, I'd do something different with the new one as well. Doesn't that make sense? And if the shows were clones they'd be just as criticized. I think both Futurama and American Dad tend to take a different more subtle approach to comedy (more so Futurama) and do more jokes that one might smile at, rather than laugh.
I don't know, either way, I enjoy them both. Though I do enjoy Futurama more.
I'm still really really interested in Family Guy. Trey Parker and Matt Stone (creators/writers of South Park) openly speak out against Family Guy. They have stated (in a South Park episode - a great one - and in interviews) that the jokes on Family Guy are "lazy" writing because the jokes are removed the storyline and interchangeable.
Now, I absolutely love South Park and Family Guy. So, as I told my good friend Arcello recently, I have a lot of opinions when it comes to this. The point that the jokes are removed from the storyline is something to think about. Is it easier writing? In my personal opinion, it's really not. Writing a joke within a scene seems like it might be easier than writing an independent joke, simply because you have something to set it up with. Take, for example, the last S*D video. There's a scene where Tom comes into the practice space, and the idea of the scene is to show it's much bigger and it's unnecessary for us. So, you know, we go off that and write jokes having to do with the scene - the fact that we have a secretary that's an asshole to Tom, all the different rooms. But then to write a disjointed joke, you sort of have nothing to pull from. So, in that sense, I think the argument that, at the very least, it's AS difficult to write an independent "gag" as it is to write one that's part of the story, is valid.
There's also another important way to look at it. One thing I personally feel is that a lot of good comedy, and art in general, comes from surprise. The best jokes (and often the best stories) come from the places you don't expect. In realizing that, I think you can realize why some of these cutaway jokes are really the ones that make you laugh. When you're watching a story in a sitcom and you're a 24 year old male who has experienced Seinfeld, Friends, the Simpsons, SNL, and almost all the comedies from 1990 - present, you obviously have ideas in your head to tell where the jokes are going, and you get used to the normal paths of comedy. This is a big reason I think cutaway jokes are a part of some new comedic projects - it's a way to (for lack of a better word) attack people humorously. And just for the record, even if you haven't experienced Seinfeld or Friends or The Simpsons in depth - a story-based joke is still easier to see coming than a cutaway.
As for Matt and Trey, while they are possibly my favorite writing team, they do have some odd opinions on stuff. I've realized a while back that it really takes different people to create really well-done and unique types of art. They always talk about being "punk rock". I understand the appeal of that - in the sense of doing something unique, doing it on your own terms, creating it in whatever way you have to, and not changing it for anyone. But I also feel like sometimes their opinions come from very odd places. They love to rattle cages, and I feel like sometimes they are more concerned with that than I would be - which isn't to say that I think that's often the case, but as with the South Park episode "Trapped In The Closet" - I thought the Scientology stuff was funny but I thought the Tom Cruise part was meh.
But keep in mind - like I said, it takes many different types of people to create different art, and if all comedy went through a "Chuck Staton" filter, it would all be the same, and would get repetitive and boring.
I do feel like Trey Parker and Matt Stone feel like it's their job to criticize everything - which they often do incredibly well. I know they have said the Family Guy thing slightly comes from a place of jealousy and I believe that as well. South Park is undoubtedly a much more revered and respected show, but I think Family Guy is such a strong network show that they have almost unlimited resources, and Seth MacFarlane is not as involved anymore as he used to be, yet he still gets a ton of money.
In Trey Parker and Matt Stone's defense, I will say that once in a while, you can tell that a Family Guy cutaway joke is just inserted. On Scrubs I feel like most of the jokes that are cutaways have more to do with the storyline (The blonde girl will say "Zach Braff, did you get all your hospital work done today?" and he'll say "Of course I did, what else would I be doing here?" and it will show Zach Braff and the black guy on Scrubs betting on a wheelchair race in the hospital between two elderly men).
Their jokes exist very much in the narrative of that time frame/story. S*D videos are mostly the same with that as well - when Tom tells us he is going to find the van AND write the new songs in the last video, I say "Oh no you don't, remember last time we put you in charge?" and it cuts to a point in time when he dropped the ball when he was in charge. I don't find that to be exactly as tied in the Scrubs stuff, but sometimes on Family Guy I do see a much more disconnected joke. There could be a scene on Family Guy where Brian and Stewie get kidnapped, and Stewie will say "This is worse than the time Peter ate the Mexican version of Gilbert Gottfried" and the joke will be 100% removed from anything in the episode.
Do I think that's a bad thing? No. I really believe that Family Guy creates a specific type of surprising humor that gets big laughs. It's well-executed and well-written. Just because a joke is removed from a storyline I don't think that it at all loses importance. I believe in the idea of creating a world when you want to do comedy- be it stand-up, sitcom, film - it derives from what the writer/director/creator thinks is important or funny or what should be there. Family Guy is a great product that has without a doubt created that world - and shows like South Park and the Simpsons have really made it difficult to be unique in doing so, which makes the fact that Family Guy has succeeded an even greater accomplishment.
I also think Trey Parker and Matt Stone - while they are "punk rock" and a fresh voice in comedy - have been doing traditional sitcom writing for twelve years, and perhaps have developed such a respect or dedication to a specific way of writing that this also influences their thoughts on this.
So basically, I do disagree with them on this - but because of who they are and what they do, I see the aspects of their own experiences that might make them feel this way.
For the record, South Park is a better show based on plot, new styles of writing throughout the series, and (as I'm sure will be proven) longevity. The shows are just so smart. I can't think of a more intelligent and topical narrative half hour of comedy on television.
I picked up Futurama Season 2, Chappelle's Show Season 2, Family Guy Season 1,2 and 5, Simpsons Season 1 and 3, Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 3, Seinfeld Season 3 and 6, and Viva La Bam Season 2 and 3 this week. All part of Gamestop's Buy Two Get Four Free deal on DVD's right now.
Yes, Buy TWO Get FOUR Free (more on that later). I also bought Michael Moore's The Awful Truth Season 1 and 2 at Moviestop for a total of $11.
Onto other news.

2. Technology (The iPhone, the T-Mobile G1 and Google Streetview)
I've decided to purchase the T-Mobile G1. It's a new phone. Tom got an iPhone last week. My opinion on cell phones is that everyone needs something different, so these are just based on my needs.
That being said I was against the iPhone at first.
1. I don't think your phone should be your music player, it's awkward and I want them SEPARATE (and also, fuck the iPod and iTunes - Zune is king)
2. I don't like touchscreen technology (more on this in a second)
3. I don't like the touchscreen keyboard on it (and still don't!)
So I played with Tom's phone. Turns out, the touchscreen technology on it is electricity-based, and not pressure-based, which is much more accurate and (I'm sure) will prove to last much longer with no damage.
When I played with the iPhone I really liked the GPS feature and applications for it. They're really well-done and cool (You can scan in a product's bar code and compare the price at other stores, you can figure out close stores by the GPS, and others). It also has new 3G technology (faster internet on the phone) and connects to any wi-fi source automatically when near one, as well as mobile Youtube, email, AIM, etc,
So I went to look at what T-Mobile offers in the same type of phone (even though I have just upgraded to a Sidekick LX from a Sidekick 3 - for free - this summer). What I found, touched my heart, and my gonads.
http://www.t-mobileg1.com/
It comes out in October - this phone is fucking crazy. First off, it's not iPod, so it's not linked to iTunes. You just put mp3s on it and play them (if you need to - which I don't!). It has the new, good, touchscreen technology, AND it has the physical keyboard like the Sidekick.
It's basically T-Mobile's answer to the iPhone. And it's BETTER!
I've had many many conversations/discussions/physical fights with people about this this week.
Here's the quick rundown:
The advantages to owning the iPhone over the G1:
- G1 has less 3G coverage than the iPhone right now (meaning regular phone-internet speeds, as opposed to faster ones), but by November (1 month after the G1 comes out) it will have full 3G coverage
- The iPhone has a direct, regular-sized headphone jack. The G1 has the regular cellphone headset jack, and requires a tiny adapter to use regular headphones
- The G1 is 1.3 times as thick as the iPhone (The iPhone is .48 inches thick, and the G1 is .62 inches thick - yes, people think this is a big deal)
- The iPhone's screen is .3 inches bigger than the G1(yes, .3)
NOW!
The advantages to owning the G1 over the iPhone:
- Has full keyboard
- Has the Sidekick trackball (scrolling device)
- The memory is expandable. The iPhone is 8 or 16 Gbs, and the G1 takes SD cards, up to 32 Gb.
- The iPhone is connected to iTunes - if you download a song on the iPhone, it will only play in the phone and iTunes library you are linked to. The G1 purchases music from Amazon.com and is DRM-free
- The battery is replaceable, meaning a broken (burned out, overcharged, etc) battery allows you to keep your phone anyway, and you can have two batteries so you can switch if your phone dies
- The G1 has the new Android operating system, run by Google, which owns Googlemaps, and allows Google Streetview on your phone (If you haven't seen Google Streetview, click here and get ready to touch yourself the way you'd like me to touch you)
- The G1 is immediately "unlocked" (works with any service/sim card) - iPhone needs to be hacked to be unlocked
- G1 camera is 3 Megapixel, vs. the iPhone's 2 Megapixel
- Applications are not regulated by the company - meaning on the iPhone, all applications are "okayed" before release by AT&T - while on the G1, the applications are released no matter what. Think of it as if Microsoft had to approve every program available on Windows - that's the iPhone policy - click here for a story on iPhone users being upset by Apple putting this policy to use
- G1 has better battery life (reported depending on where you look)
- The G1 device is cheaper on presale: G1 - $179.99, iPhone - $199.99
- The G1 is cheaper per month: G1 - $85 (600 minutes, unlimited email, text, internet, AIM, etc), iPhone - $100 (700 minutes, unlimited email, text, internet, AIM, etc - closest comparable plan)
Seems like an easy choice. I must also mention that many websites report that the G1 will not capture/play video, and the iPhone will. I doubt this is true (why would G1 be able to display Youtube videos, and not video? and also, Tom said his iPhone does NOT capture video).
Basically, they are really similar, and the G1 just has more features that are important to me, and costs less. I'll report more when I actually get the phone in a few weeks.
People say you should always wait until the "2.0" version of new technological devices comes out (meaning, don't get the first version, as it will come out, be reported on and criticized, and then an upgraded new and "better" version will come out after). I often have agreed with that but at this point, technology is so advanced and updates (firmware and software) are so easy to get, that I'm sure any "bugs" or problems will be fixed and updated with a SOFTWARE version 2.0 for the G1. Proof: My Sidekick LX was bought with no video capturing capabilities, and one day, I got an update from T-Mobile that now gave me a video camera in my phone. Also, I still have a 30 Gb Zune, of which the firmware/software was updated as recently as a week ago, and it's still the best music player I've ever had (and continually getting better).
I sold my Sidekick 3 on Ebay in July for $285 to buy my Sidekick LX for $300. I'm planning on selling my Sidekick LX for around the same amount (it is brand new still and the screen is ABSOLUTELY flawless) and picking up the G1 for $179.99 (I already pre-purchased it) so I will actually be MAKING money on the switch to the G1! Sweet shits I am a frugal fiend!

3. Movies (Eagle Eye, Where In The World Is Osama Bin Laden, Michael Moore's Slacker Uprising, Heckler, Kevin Smith's podcast)
I've been buying tons of movie recently. Some blu-rays, but many many DVD's. Due to a few recent deals, I've been really cleaning up, and as soon as I get my final DVD's in the mail, I'm going to post a big blog of the list of DVDs/Seasons/Blu-Rays/Video Games I've purchased recently and the amount I spent on them with crazy scams and deals. Trust me, it's been ridiculous.
This week I watched some old movies I enjoy - Dawn Of The Dead (200? - not the old version), Spiderman, Identity - as well as the new releases of Morgan Spurlock's Where In The World Is Osama Bin Laden (DVD), and Eagle Eye (in theatres).
The Morgan "Supersize Me" Spurlock documentary was okay. "Supersize Me", while being incredibly inaccurate and false, was a fun, entertaining doc. His new one just isn't too great. Interesting footage, definitely watchable, but I probably won't watch it again. He does a great show called "30 Days" about living as something for "30 Days" (a vegan, living on minimum wage, etc). He has a definite talent but Where In The World Is Osama Bin Laden was a search that you knew from the beginning would fail. Eh.
Eagle Eye was okay. Like a lot of recent big-studio action films (Wanted, The Incredible Hulk) it has a ton of GREAT action sequences, and the story leaves something to be desired. I haven't seen Jumper but I think I'd feel the same way about that movie.
I also picked up Heckler on DVD. It's Jamie Kennedy's new documentary about critics (including hecklers). My only criticism of this movie is that it's not really about Hecklers. The whole thing is an awesome movie that's interviews with people, clips of hecklers and critics, and actually confrontation with critics. Just awesome. I was really surprised because Jamie Kennedy (while someone I do like) is very hit-or-miss. This came out like 3 weeks ago, and you can pick this up for $7 at Moviestop - I urge everyone to go check out a Moviestop if there's one near them. Awesome awesome deals.
I also downloaded Michael Moore's new free movie Slacker Uprising. It's okay. It's all about stuff that happenned (and was filmed) in 2004. Worth a watch. I love Michael Moore. I saw Bowling For Columbine and thought it was pretty good. Never watched Farenheit 9/11. I watched Sicko and just thought it was awesome. Ridiculously awesome. If you haven't seen Sicko - WATCH IT! Michael Moore is awesome, and possibly the ugliest guy in the world. Imagine if Tom Wells fucked a hobbit. "Hob Wells" would look at Michael Moore and vomit.
Finally, something I've really been super into recently is Kevin Smith's podcast, the Smodcast.
It's a Podcast of him and Scott Mosier (producer of - I think - all Kevin Smith's films). They just kind of talk for about an hour each time, and it's so so so funny. I listen to it constantly - in the shower, when I go for walks, in my car - I love it. They talk movies, updates with View Askew (slightly) but most of all, Kevin Smith just sort of puts Mosier in these awkward hypothetical situations, and they role-play it out. Mosier is such a typically nice and rational, yet unapologetic guy that every exchange is hilarious when he's pitted against Kevin Smith's "never-would-happen-but-what-if" situations. It's a wonder that Scott Mosier hasn't been in Kevin's movies more often, because they are hilarious together. It's free so I say give it a damn download. Kevin Smith (as many people know) has always been a huge influence of mine, and you can tell by the webisodes we (me and the band) do. One of the best things about him is that he's ridiculously smart, and he's one of the best storytellers/speakers that I even know of.
Iron Man comes out this week. This excites me. I thought Iron Man was such an awesome movie. I felt bad that it was superceded by Dark Knight (but I admit that Dark Knight was one of my favorite movies of all time, and deserved every ounce of respect/money that it got), because I thought Spiderman had come out years back, and created this mainstream version of a big summer action flick that had this amazing imagery, compelling story, reinvention of a classic character, and it was for everyone in the family. Spiderman was great, and after many more superhero movies came out, Iron Man came out and totally took the expectations of that "new-classic" superhero formula and totally turned it around, working the expectations the entire time and totally making Robert Downey Jr one of the most compelling good-guy badasses in recent memory. Moviestop (I wish they'd pay me for this advertising) had a great deal, allowing you to trade four DVDs worth at least $1.50 (granted, by their standards, $1.50 is alot to give for a movie) for a free Iron Man preorder. I ordered the blu-ray edition so I had to trade in a few more. Still a great deal. I'm excited for all the special edition stuff because I'm a fag like that.
Another "new" thing (new to me, anyways) is the idea of "steel-book". Steel-book is a type of special edition metal casing for a special edition DVD. Dane Cook's Tourgasm (which I highly recommend) was encased in a steelbook case - I'm not going to link it here because you can't tell from the picture. Anyway, they do some exclusive releases in Canada for blu-rays in steelbook (they've done I Am Legend, and are doing Iron Man) and they're awesome. Wish I could get them. FYE is doing an exclusive steelbook edition preorder of Iron Man on DVD - but I feel those people who want the steelbook will most likely want blu-ray, so it doesn't make too much sense to me.
I ordered the Fight Club steelbook DVD. Maybe it's just a new way to get consumers to waste money but limited edition packaging like that is a really cool thing to have if it's a movie you really connect with.
I also finally picked up a blu-ray remote control for my PS3 today. It runs through bluetooth, which means you dont have to point it at anything for it to work, and the PS3 could be behind a wall and it would still control it. I think all remotes should be bluetooth.

4. Music (Mitch Hedberg)
Got Mitch Hedberg's new CD. Not really music but this is the appropriate category to put it under. It's pretty good. It's short, and it's got a lot of stuff that seems to be "in the process" of being written/perfected. I think that, keeping in mind that Mitch Hedberg is deceased, this is a good release. Real fans will feel like they got a little bit of a last taste of Mitch Hedberg's type of humor. He's in my list of top-five comedians ever and I totally totally love Mitch Hedberg's style of stand-up.

5. Video Games (Buzz Quiz TV for PS3, Rock Band 2 for 360)
So I picked up a bunch of video games in the past week or so (around 40 or so) and this is all in conjunction with the current "scams" I've been running (I only call them scams because it's a convenient title - none of it is illegal).
But the only new ones I've acquired are Buzz Quiz TV and Rock Band 2.
Rock Band 2 is alright. I just don't like it as much as Guitar Hero. Same as Rock Band 1. I don't do the drums or the microphone (is it possible to sing a song you don't know?) but I see the appeal. One awesome thing about Rock Band is that if you have Rock Band 1 and any downloaded songs for Rock Band 1, you can port them all over to Rock Band 2, which means you get a playlist of the 80+ songs in Rock Band 2, plus the 50+ Rock Band 1 tracks, plus any downloaded tracks you have from Rock Band 1 (of which there are 231). So you could technically have - at the very least - 361 songs in your game, which you can incorporate into the main story mode. You're also supposed to be able to download 20 free additional songs with the release (but the info to do so has not yet been released).
That is great, and something that I wish was possible in the Guitar Hero games.
Although, I will admit that this raises the question of, if they can port all this old stuff into the new Rock Band, were there really any changes made to the gameplay?
Guitar Hero can't add the songs because they change their gameplay mode. GH1 songs could fit into GH2, but after that, each game has made advancements (excluding GH: Rock The 80's and GH: Aerosmith, which were offshoots of each official new release). In GH3, the band plays the specific song, including the lead singer singing the song in the game, which wasn't in GH2, which is why you couldn't port the tracks over to the new game (hypothetically). In GH4: World Tour (coming out this month), the addition of drums and a mic is added, so you couldn't port any older songs to it.
So overall, I think that it's a cool thing to do, but I understand that the franchise that is truly taking steps can't really do it.
I also think that Rock Band has been shittier about song-licensing, as they continue to license and sell songs that Guitar Hero has already done, as well as share 16 songs on their new game with GH4. Just seems more concerned with competition and outdoing GH (the original game that earned the genre popularity).
So I say Rock Band 2 gets a C- for dickery. It's alright. The new Guitar Hero will be much better.
As for Buzz Quiz TV - if you don't know what Buzz is, it's a trivia game for PS3 with four wireless bluetooth buzzers - check this out to see what it's like. The game originated on PS2 in different categories (Buzz Hollywood, Buzz Mega Quiz - all trivia). It's this great multiplayer (1 - 8 players) game that is just so much fun.
This new Buzz has five different categories (Movies and Television, Lifestyle, Music, Natural World, Sports) as well as the option to play with all categories. It also has online capabilities, as well as a thing called Buzz Community, where you can go online and make your own quizzes to get inserted in the game. People download eachother's quizzes for free. This is great - there were 1,000 quizzes made by the release date of the game. You can download quizzes directly about Back To The Future, Jurassic Park, South Park, the Dictionary (yes, the Dictionary), etc.
It's just great. I urge everyone to get it and play it with your friends. It's so much fun.

6. Senior Discount Updates
Demo'ing the new songs. Working on the website. Waiting for a date to go mix the new song, as well as dates to go record those new songs we're demo'ing. Not alot of updates for S*D recently, as we're continually working on the same three projects (mixing the new song, the website, re-recording five old songs). As soon as we have something concrete to show you, believe me we will. Feel free to ask any questions, and we are still looking for new shirt designs, as well as ideas for the website.
We're also desperately looking to book shows. Feel free to help us with that if you can! We're playing a show on October 17th in Fall River. Check it out on the myspace page - www.myspace.com/seniordiscount

7. Chuck Staton Updates
I've started the diet. Lost 6 lb.s the first week and NO lb.s the second week! Fuck that bullshit! I didn't even excersize that first week. Weight is stupid like that. This is going to be a while but I am staying on course. My deal right now is I eat 1,000 calories a day, except on Wednesday (which is my day off, and I eat whatever I want) and Saturday (I eat 500 calories during the day, then I go eat a big grilled chicken club sandwich as the Meeting Street Cafe in Providence for dinner - it's high in calorie but also 100% all-natural ingredients and locally grown - and uh..grilled chicken).
I've been working on the new S*D stuff recently, as well as cashing on all these scams, which I will let everyone in on totally when I finish it all up. I have to take one more test to graduate college, which I believe I will do on Oct 20th. I will know immediately afterwards whether or not I passed, which will signal my immediate graduation. Exciting ! (?)
I'm still pretty unhappy with my current state of friendships. I hang out with exactly three people, including my (super-hot) girlfriend who lives with me.
I did get to see my old friend Mat Fairchild tonight (you can see him getting punched in the face on our DVD). Unfortunately, I didn't get to punch him in the face again. We had a long debate about Gun Control. It was good (for the record, I don't think people need to have guns, and I also don't simply believe that no one should have guns. And no, I don't know how to regulate that).
I've been a slacker lately, and need to get back to work. I simply am not working on the songs/website enough and I wish I had the motivation to do that, as well as excersize.

Feel free to disagree with all my opinions and start a discussion, or check out the shit I say to check out, and let me know what you think.
- Chuck Staton

*It has been reported that the artistic community has unanimously stated they do not consider Chuck Staton an artist.

**It has been reported that Barack OBama and John McCain have agreed that they do not consider Chuck Staton a person. George Bush thinks Chuck Staton is "some sort of super-bear."